Douluo: Martial Spirit Clay, Creates All Things

The hero's martial spirit is earth, why don't you write it as 💩

I don't see the need for the Baron plot at all. You've already written about the Baron's past. Why don't you write about the eighteen generations of his ancestors and show me the Baron's struggle? Who is the protagonist? Later, there was actually a soul battle with the baron's son to decide who owned the soul ring. You're dragging a century-old soul beast to level 1, and I can't stand it anymore. I can't imagine how wet it is on the shelves.

The idea is very good, there are a lot of martial arts brains, energy, energy and skills developed, the development route is clear, the goals are clear, the personality charm is also very good, there are clear plans, family love and emotional lines are also OK, in short, the protagonist's growth line is very well written. But the turning conflict is really a mess. The first soul ring hunt arranged for a noble to be stuck for more than 20 or 30 chapters. It was dragging to death and there was nothing interesting. A small boss with no plot connection took up a lot of the main story. The second soul ring hunt was a big job. We had to force the Qian Renxue route. There was not much profit and necessity to plan. Whatever You can meet him on the soul hunting route, even if he has a big dad who can rival the Titled Douluo, he is stopped by Qian Renxue. Does Qian Renxue have such a big motive? Why should he pretend to expose his Titled Douluo trump card for a one-ring soul master? He can provoke people who are against the Titled Douluo at will, right? Dugu Bo doesn't care anymore, right? The imagination of this novel is really good, and it can be ranked at the forefront of the fandom. It is not a problem to become a masterpiece, but more than 1/3 of the more than 100 chapters are full of plot. I am really a little drunk. You also wrote the conflict between Yu Xiaogang and Yu Tianheng very well. Why do you have to get the soul ring to complete your life, and you have to have one person to play the protagonist, right? It would be fun to watch the climax of acquiring the soul ring and the protagonist's ability to transform, right? The easiest place to get excited is not to look at it, it is all blocked, forcibly raising other people's expectations. It's like being able to play with your mobile phone for two hours right after school, being directly arranged by your family, doing housework for 1 hour and 50 minutes, and watching the remaining 10 minutes exhausted and listless. Are you happy? Also the security against theft is too strict.

It's useless to drive a Gundam and just use it as a target.

I can't stand it! I don't think it's okay for the male protagonist Ni Ma to call him Dugu Yan and Ye Lingling in private or occasionally. Little Snake Lady and Mute Sister, but you... The narrator will also use these two names later on. I am convinced by you. If you don't make me sick, I will feel sick.

I found that all those who wrote about Douluo Dalu fandoms were all based on my power of thinking. I felt that if I knew the two channels of Ren and Du, I would be able to create internal skills and mental methods. Xuan Tian Kung was something from the martial arts world, and it would be great if you, a modern person, could understand how to practice in the past. There are also various creative skills 🙂 that are difficult to understand.

Many people think that as long as you enter Lodin Academy, you will be targeted by gangsters. If you are level 8.9 Or above, it may be possible. Those of you who are below the passing line will not even look at you. Even until you graduate, I may not remember you as a person, and it is almost impossible to have any intersection.

The protagonist drinks pesticides to change his life. The starting point of clay is too low. Dou San has a local dog Wuhun who drinks pesticides. The Wuhun mutates into a five-element unicorn with five ultimate attributes. He can rise to level 99 Ultimate Douluo while lying flat. The martial soul of the descendants has evolved twice, the Heavenly Stem Qilin, which has ten ultimate attributes and controls the five elements, yin and yang and the power of chaos

All the soul skills of the protagonist are not the same thing as other people's soul skills. At level 29, using the first soul skill fossil to turn into mud for a whole day is basically not consumed (still with two people, the space is equivalent to a small room). If mud, rocks and tree roots are so easy to transform, it will take at least 100,000 years. The clay in front can store the soul. Clay with a lot of power can be used like an arm and a finger. Forget it. Count it as a golden finger. If you can survive like this, it is impossible not to discover that it is not a problem for the entire civilization to rise. I feel that the author can let the protagonist evolve the martial soul into the Nine-leaf Sword Grass. He also recommends Ye Lingling's martial soul to evolve into the Creation Green Lotus. It's so nonsense

I've read around chapter 200, and I have some suggestions. To be honest, if the protagonist wants to have sex with her, she can do so freely. I don't have the intention to explain in various ways while having sex. In fact, it's quite self-explanatory, and the protagonist is not the kind of emotionally retarded person in harem dramas. Type, it is better to be more straightforward. In the beginning, he calculated and calculated, but later the author directly told us that he actually had no such intention. This treatment is too direct and blunt. In the later stage, readers will have their own understanding. It is better to give no explanation and let the readers understand by themselves. You cannot raise the upper limit of novels, but you can raise the lower limit. The story will collapse in the later stage. Many of the reasons are that the author wants to express his thoughts to the readers and guide the readers' opinions, but does not have the appropriate writing skills. In the early stage, when there is a lot of foreshadowing and description, the author will collapse if the description and explanation are not good, so control the general direction of the story context and promotion. Just focus on the natural connection between the contexts. If you can't explain it clearly, don't mention it. If you mention it, you are leading the readers to think. You must explain it and convince the readers, otherwise it will be ineffective guidance. Especially in the later period, it is different from the early stage. The early stage is like a blank sheet of paper. , The artist can draw whatever he says, but if he draws a person's head in the front, it would be better to draw a human body in the back. Most people will think it is reasonable if you set him to have cat ears and dog ears. If your drawing is good, not everyone will like it if you draw a cat with a human head and a dog, but if you draw it well, You can't blame someone for questioning your mental state if you draw a basketball. The author uses words to define each character in the reader's mind, and then enriches their core with stories. A character cannot be ugly and handsome at the same time, and even if he changes from ugly to handsome, there must be a process, right?

There is no prioritization at all. I feel that this book is completely responsible for Black Jade Xiaogang, Wuhun Palace and the protagonist group. As for the development route of the protagonist, it is completely incidental. Listing the first soul, I have watered more than 20 cards, and then introduced a mini-boss, which cost nearly 5 or 6 cards. Get rid of it and spend a lot of space pointing out Wuhundian and Yu Xiaogang, and then look at the title at the end, this godman author is still checking and criticizing Wuhundian, Yu Xiaogang or other people's brain circuits as the main content, the protagonist is just a lead-in, and the protagonist's status is completely gone

I can't stand it anymore when I see how to get the first soul ring. It's reasonable to upgrade to level two in the first two months, and level three in three months. Logically speaking, it should get slower and slower in the future. As a result, it's five levels a year, and an average of more than two months to level one. I don't see any improvement in your talent this year. Moreover, the little Zhoutian practice method is also written inexplicably. Just because the spleen meridian is connected to the Ren channel, the protagonist can activate the Ren channel to increase the speed of cultivation? I remember Tang San had to rely on his own practice to slowly open up the Eight Extraordinary Meridians in order to speed up his cultivation. Is the protagonist a one-of-a-kind martial arts prodigy who is born with all the meridians? This is a common problem for authors. It is necessary to set up a useless person with innate first-level qualifications, and then use various powers to increase the protagonist's cultivation speed to a genius level. In fact, there is no logic. You really might as well just write about the protagonist's martial soul mutation and the sixth level of innate soul power. Then the biggest poisonous point is where to get the first soul ring. It's inexplicable that Luo Li writes so many words about the Baron, and I can't stand it at all.

This novel is uncomfortable to watch. Sluggish pacing is a taboo in fan fiction. Hunting for the first soul ring does not even mention the cliched plot. Just dragging on for more than 20 chapters makes people feel uncomfortable. What is the difference between this and dozens of Dragon Clan fan fictions just staying in Shilan Middle School without going to Kassel or doing anything else?

When I saw Chapter 26, I accidentally clicked on the table of contents. Returned immediately. I clicked on the table of contents again today, and it wasn't until Chapter 45 that the Baron was eliminated. There were nearly 20 of them. According to you, two were taken a day. Only one Baron was destroyed. It took you almost 10 days to write. I clicked into the middle of the text for a long time, but there were no comments. If it doesn't work, you can reduce the contents of those pictures. Otherwise, if it continues like this, there will be fewer and fewer people, and it will be difficult to get up by then. I remember watching a live broadcast of Xinghe before, and a great author once said that writing dungeons and special events should be completed within two or three days for small ones, and it is best not to take more than a week for big events. It took you 10 days to write about a small incident. I really don't blame others for saying you are stupid. While I'm not too long now, I might as well find some time to revise it. The beginning is pretty good, so don't waste it. 🙂🙂🙂

According to the character design of Yu Xiaogang in the original work, it is impossible for him to interact with the protagonist. I feel like you wrote it like this for the sake of blackmail. It's so embarrassing.

Let me make a post to complain about it. Every time I get a soul ring, I have to do something, and it is an inexplicable thing. I feel that the author is very creative. What is important is the story, not life and death. The third ring involves God, and I don't dare to think about what will happen later. The plot advances too slowly

Too watery. There is no plot advancement. And you have written fan fiction. There's no need to go through the thankless task of writing original characters. Just write the original character

I wrote nearly twenty pieces to get the first soul ring 😅

What is written is real water, and the water explodes. It is a lot of empty talk. You can write about martial arts theory and self-created exercises, but why do you also write a lot about the psychological process of the target and strategy ideas? It is so boring.

As for the plot of absorbing the first soul ring, whoever said that the author's writing was poor started to attack and bite the dog. . .

Crazy, the time-travel text doesn't say that the power of parents' sacrifice to heaven is boundless, and they are allowed to bring up one younger sister at most, but you are bringing up a whole family. Two elders, two brothers, two sisters and one sister. Why, you want to write a family ethics drama? It's simply baffling.

It's just a black man adding his own personal design. He is black for the sake of being black. He distorts the original characters to impress the public. You climb up by stepping on others. There is not much difference between you and Zhang San.

It's a bit outrageous to cover 20 chapters of a first soul skill, and the Baron's past has been revealed. I can't imagine how successful it will be after it's released.

The clay martial soul has one ring of stone and mud transformation, the second ring is a half-life treasure, and the third ring can create creatures and use the power of faith.

So far, it looks pretty good. There are no obvious mistakes. It's good food, but it's a bit lacking.

Every time I see Bibi Dong and Liu Erlong falling in love with Yu Xiaogang, they love each other to the death, and the feeling is no less disgusting than the richest man in the world falling in love with an ugly monster who loves to steal things.

I don't know why I wrote so many plots about Gangzi? You want to take him into the harem?

Goldfinger has nothing written on the introduction, which makes it unattractive.

Author, why don't you update?

It's very beautiful. Please give me more support, author.