I Do Performance Art in Daqin

After failing the college entrance examination, I became a gangster with the same name at the end of Qin Dynasty. When Xiang Yu's sword was across my neck, I took out a book "Postpartum Care of Sows". "Your Majesty," I said sincerely, "this is more useful than killing people." History has become ridiculously distorted since then: I provided self-heating rations for Liu Bang's army, but the battle didn't start. First there was internal strife over the competition for hot pot ingredients. Han Xin came to ask for advice on the art of war, and I taught him how to play checkers. Three months later, he used the checkers formation to surround Zhang Han to death. At the Hongmen Banquet, while Xiang Zhuang was dancing with his sword, I silently took out a bottle of Liushen toilet water. Now, I am squatting on the edge of the Gaixia battlefield, directing 30,000 Han troops to rehearse the chorus. "Pay attention to the rhythm!" I shouted, holding up the tin trumpet, "After singing "Unforgettable Tonight" we will call it a day -" Xiang Yu reined in his horse by the Wujiang River and turned back in grief and anger: "Liu Ji! Can't you have a serious fight?!" I looked at the remaining half of the "Five-Year College Entrance Examination and Three-Year Simulation" in my arms. I thought: I also want to be serious, but among the knowledge I have learned, the closest to fighting... Is broadcast gymnastics. ——"In the late Qin Dynasty, my knowledge was always used in the wrong place"