Gouge Out the Eyes

I am full of hope and disappointment in this world. I don't know which words I should use to describe this world. It is not dark, but it is not bright either. It is not full of filth, but it is not full of purity either. In my understanding, everything is connected and everyone is connected. I can see the whole world in one person. But now the truth is before my eyes. I can see it, hear it, smell it, but I can't touch it. Unfortunately, I am still alive.