Cultivation of Immortality Starts from the Game

Most of the plot is good, with foreshadowing and twists, and the writing is not bad. What makes people feel uncomfortable is that the protagonist basically doesn't speak human words. Everything I talk about is bad jokes and riddles. Many plots are carried out by the protagonist, because there is basically nothing he can't do. Some plots can be fine if the protagonist explains it clearly, but, hey, I just don't talk about it, I just play. The protagonist causes trouble, and the author adjusts the plot with an invisible hand. This way of advancing the plot once or twice is fine, but if it happens more than once, it is pure torture. From a certain point of view, the protagonist might as well be directly replaced by the Internet cafe itself. The supporting role completely outweighs the protagonist. After all, if I don't think hard now, I won't even remember the protagonist's surname. Instead, I remember that the protagonist's elder is named Zhao and the angel investor's surname is Lin.

You can enter without thinking, but I quit after reading the first few chapters. They pretend to be slutty and deliberately create conflicts, and the protagonist doesn't look like someone who opens a shop or does business.

This book is really good, especially when it describes the words that Zhang Jiawen said when he fought Sun Wukong for three hundred rounds for the male gun, and finally lost and gave up: "Thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi, don't bully the poor horse!" If it weren't for Nuoshou's outer ring scraping + Noxian guillotine, this unparalleled genius from the Bodybuilding Sect would have fallen, but this genius also failed to recover. Perhaps this is the origin of the first chapter "The Fallen Genius". Just like the devil descended from the sky, he is really the God of Tai Sui in the world. The moment Zhang Jiawen came out of the mountain, the world welcomed its god. Zhang Jiawen pushed all the way from Nanzhanbuzhou to Dongsheng Shenzhou. During this period, he defeated countless geniuses, such as Hu Tutu, Peppa Pig and other geniuses who were not the same enemy at all. In the end, he met the old enemy in his life, the fighter among the horses - Sun Wukong! It's really unforgettable…

The writing is pretty good and interesting, but a common feature of this type of book is that once the game has one person and one person, it is difficult to balance the native world and the game world. As for the protagonist who will suffer from the greed of others in the future, a common solution is for the game character to stand up. I hope the author can write well, good luck. Overall review is good grass

What are these chapters about? Who wants to read the intrigues of these NPCs?

I saw that the rescue network administrator couldn't stand it anymore. I asked if the follow-up theme of this book is a group portrait or a tool player who assists the protagonist in growing up and becoming a girl. Can the protagonist be hidden? The group portrait is quite interesting. The growth of the protagonist is so written that I have no desire to continue reading.

If you had written this book in 2016, it would probably have become popular.

Foundation building, what kind of foundation building is this? Golden elixir, what kind of golden elixir is this? A group of monks above the foundation building elixir started to do it. The environment was as big as a shop? It was called Xiuxian, but it was actually a martial arts. It could reach the level of Double Dragon of the Tang Dynasty, but it could not reach the level of Broken Void.

On the contrary, I wanted to watch the plot of the native cultivators, and it was more interesting. When I saw how many levels of cultivation the protagonist had reached and how many benefits he had gained, I felt completely calm while watching it. Actually, this book is similar to watching a live broadcast of a live game. I want to watch a live game, not the anchor.

The main plot is wrong, I've been writing stories about supporting characters cultivating immortality. The content of the game and the interaction between players are the essence of this type of article.

This book is really good, especially when it describes the words that Zhang Jiawen said when he fought Sun Wukong for three hundred rounds for the male gun, and finally lost and gave up: "Thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi, don't bully the poor horse!" If it weren't for Nuoshou's outer ring scraping + Noxian guillotine, this unparalleled genius from the Bodybuilding Sect would have fallen, but this genius also failed to recover. Perhaps this is the origin of the first chapter "The Fallen Genius". Just like the devil descended from the sky, he is really the God of Tai Sui in the world. The moment Zhang Jiawen came out of the mountain, the world welcomed its god. Zhang Jiawen pushed all the way from Nanzhanbuzhou to Dongsheng Shenzhou. During this period, he defeated countless geniuses, such as Hu Tutu, Peppa Pig and other geniuses who were not the same enemy at all. In the end, he met the old enemy in his life, the fighter among the horses - Sun Wukong! It's really unforgettable…

I have finished reading the current one. It is quite good and has great potential. Please keep writing, the author 😁. The only thing is that there are a lot of typos. Although it does not affect reading, it is best to avoid them as much as possible.

Good-looking, good-looking, good-looking, good-looking

Author, your core selling point is very good, but the problem is also obvious, the plot cannot be controlled. The main flaw lies in the protagonist. On the one hand, it has to show the human protagonist, and on the other hand, it needs to show the affected indigenous people. When the writing is not very good, there is already a part of the tear at this stage, that is, why the protagonist has been upgraded, and how interesting the relevant plot is compared to the plot development of the affected indigenous NPCs. In addition, since you know Immortal Cultivation Simulator and Ghost Valley, you should also know Taiwu. If the protagonist like Taiwu is the hilt of the sword, that is, the setting of the grandfather, it should be much better (similar to the birth of the Xuanjian Immortal Clan, but not a family) ps: When I say Taiwu, I mean don't hold on to the original protagonist, the hilt is the protagonist (I don't mean to change the plot of this book, just use it as a practice)

How does this book compare with the system's black technology Internet cafes?

I haven't come up with a good title for the book. It will be easier to attract the target readership by choosing a title that is related to Internet cafes.

Overall, it's okay. It's just like opening a canteen in the previous book, but this one has some meaningless settings. For example, Qi training overhaul, level 1 Qi training has all kinds of tricks, and is there any protection mechanism? I don't quite understand the meaning of existence. This kind of thing usually depends on the results of people playing games. There is no need to restrict it. In the past, there was a cafeteria where people ate faster than they cultivated. Then, the main character was invincible due to the protection mechanism within the cafeteria, and no one could see through his cultivation. Mainly people are shocked after eating it

😍

The beginning reminds me of "The Black Shop of the Lord God", which is a pity book

It is recommended to start reading from the third chapter. You ask why not start from the first chapter, because the protagonist in the second chapter is so amazing that it will be easy to dissuade him after reading it.