Songxu

The writing is very good and very fluent. The sense of picture is missing. You focus more on things, what kind of things push the protagonist to do something, but without the blessing of emotion, it looks very empty.

First, your main plot is unclear. Is the protagonist going to collect medicine for his father or to fight bandits? Second, the plot is cliche. Bandits steal money, are beaten away, and then come for revenge. This routine is too old. You can only know the taste after eating the appetizer, and it is also dry. Third, there is no emotion. If you want to write about collecting medicine for his father, you should use your writing to write that their family is miserable and they will die without this medicine. Let me give you a possibility. The protagonist found the medicine, but encountered a bandit. The medicine must be carefully taken care of, otherwise it will lose its effectiveness. So they received a beating in vain, but they also received medicine. When they returned to the village, they found that his father had died while they were being beaten. Then the conflict unfolds. At this time, you have to show the protagonist's inner fluctuations, what changes in his personality this incident brought about, and what impact it had on his life. You can continue to connect the protagonist with going up the mountain to fight the thieves, but the result is unsuccessful. Then for revenge, what did he do to achieve his goal, and then because of his father's death, everything related to the Di family happened.

Why is it chapter 25 at the beginning 😰