Barrier Era: Inside and Outside

I heard that a high school classmate became a reader at Qidian, but due to busy studies, today I have time to escape from the formalism of the college. The style of the article is the sci-fi style that the author has always loved. Judging from the content presented so far, the story rhythm and suspense creation are very good. It seems that there is still a lot of potential Let's talk about the slight shortcomings. Science fiction novels are most afraid of confusion caused by the accumulation of information. The main and branch lines are interspersed in the middle, which may cause unnecessary distraction, and the branch lines overshadow the main line Another problem is the lack of focus. The core of the story should be that Zhao Yuqing defected to her friends and was involved in a greater catastrophe. However, the game between the two big figures in the first few chapters took up too much space, including the content derived from the meeting. It was not coordinated with the main line. It was only related to the disturbance of the barrier, which may lead to a slightly slow progress Science fiction also has to mention logic. For example, when Zhao Yuqing was taking a taxi, she fell asleep after "leaving her backpack in the driver's seat and using a sweatshirt on the steering wheel." The driver did not ask about the destination for a long time, which is a bit far-fetched; secondly, when the unmanned taxi was forcibly taken over by "Dimension Security", it only informed the driver through the loudspeaker. "Why Xin'an can directly control civilian vehicles" and "Why Qian Xiaowen is designated to handle emergencies" are not explained. Although it creates suspense, it lacks basic logical support and easily causes readers to question "conflict for the sake of conflict". However, this question is also slowly filled in in the following chapters The opening of each chapter may be a little dull. If it is dull, it is easy to fall into the misunderstanding of "information bombing". The background should be appropriately compressed and the worldview information such as "The Great Collapse" and "Coalition Government" need not be piled up in a centralized manner. It can be split into the form of "key settings + blank space Let's talk about characterization. At present, the introduction of characters mostly relies on direct descriptions ("Qian Xiaowen is the technical backbone" and "Xia Haitang is decisive"). Instead, characters can be portrayed through specific events. Of course, group portraits are also important. In shaping the character image, labeling should be avoided, and emotional anchors should be laid for the character's behavior in advance. For example, in Qian Xiaowen's operation field. In the scene, the detail of him glancing at the photo of his family in the corner of the screen is added to hint at his personal motivation for guarding the barrier; Xia Haitang's sense of urgency can be embodied through the frequently vibrating encrypted communicator in her pocket, or the mention of the "report of civilian casualties caused by the last barrier fluctuation", making the character's behavior more supportive That's it, in short it's worth reading. The author, hurry up🐴➕edit and become China's new Liu as soon as possible, and then sign it for me and let me make money as a scalper😄