A Mortal's Story of Immortality: the Rise and Fall of the Clouds

So far, it feels very good and very human, but I don't know how to get in touch with the protagonist. I hope the author can work hard! ! !

The writing is okay, I can read it, I need to refine the details, the description of the fight should be more reasonable, generally good, don't overdo it, the Tianlinggen is cultivated very quickly, Han Li should have just been born or just started practicing in the timeline. According to the timeline, the Tianling of Luoyun Sect will still be there for more than a hundred years. Song Yu should pay attention to it.

First of all, thank you for your willingness to leave your comments after reading these chapters. For the praise, the author would like to express his gratitude and hope that readers can put forward the shortcomings and suggestions of the book As for the simple criticism of the fighting scenes, this is the author's problem. I have never written paragraphs or articles in this area before. I will refer to it when I write again, and I will not write so briefly again. The second part about recruiting disciples, I think so. Tianlinggen is a top-notch qualification that is rare in the world of immortality for a thousand years, and the Luoyun Sect is the weakest among the three Yunmeng sects and the easiest to be kicked out. In addition, I added some patches at the end of the first chapter, so I personally think it is more reasonable.

The hang-up is a bit big. I only have a small green bottle, which has a plant acceleration effect. The rest is done by myself, and the hang-up can be rounded back. If you do it like this, no one will have anything to do, the plot will be very bland, and the conflicts will make the protagonist appear mentally retarded.