The Countdown Begins to Challenge the Gods

Thank you to the author for your long review of my novel. My level is limited and I don't have much research on techniques. I'm just talking about my personal feelings and thoughts after reading your novel. When I read Chapter 5, I felt that the emotion was still not enough. The reason was not due to the clichéd RPG plot, but I felt it was more about the theme and motivation. I have read 20,000 words, but I still don't understand. What is the protagonist's specific motivation, to go home? Then why challenge the gods? Has the gods done anything that seriously threatens his survival? The main theme of the entire novel seems to be friendship and cooperation at the moment, praising courage and so on, which feels very thin. Adding a little more content about resisting the gods will sublimate the male protagonist's motivation and arouse the entire mood. I will take the liberty to slightly change the plot. For example, this different world is a world that lives under the countdown of the gods. Every once in a while, the world will be reset by the gods with natural disasters and mutations, and then it will return to peace. The gods despised all things and took pleasure in fiddling with the countdown hourglass. And human beings are eking out an existence under such a cycle of natural disasters. The male protagonist came during the period of natural disasters, took away part of the divine power, helped a large number of humans survive, and competed with the gods for the hourglass. Finally, he forcibly opened a period of calm, giving people a chance to live in peace, develop technology with the help of earth knowledge, and challenge the gods according to his own countdown. Add some themes, such as the dilemma between human beings being conservative and radical. There are two camps, one hopes to rely on the gods, and the other is the camp of the male protagonist who hopes to subvert the gods. The camp they are attached to also has another kind of golden finger of krypton, while the male protagonist's camp can only rely on its own golden finger and scientific knowledge. Both camps are full of spies, playing games with each other and creating conflicts and crises. The male protagonist's motivation is to try not to kill anyone, use force and intelligence to disintegrate the enemy camp, defeat the gods, and create a new order. This feels better than the wolf pack you wrote about. Some otherworld works also include a line about finding relatives, where relatives are wandering in another world, and they are unknown. The protagonist follows people's clues and discovers that there are legends about relatives everywhere. Excessive concern about skills is a common problem among our programmers. Now I think that the skills can be practiced and developed slowly, but the main theme must be determined from the beginning. What you feel now is that the main theme is too thin, the male lead's motivation is unclear, and it cannot arouse emotions. I'm afraid that when you write hundreds of thousands, you may start to feel bored and don't know what to write. The main line is too single. My book The Magician is the same, with two main themes set at the beginning: I want to achieve worldly perfection, but after I achieve perfection I find that I am not happy, and I want to pursue my true life goal again; I want to defeat the dragons, and I find that the dragons are not the real culprits behind the scenes, and I want to defeat the real culprits and restore peace to the world. These two main threads were also highlighted in the first chapter, which was so poorly written, so no matter how I changed my techniques or the plot, the main theme I wanted to say always guided me in that first chapter, and I had the motivation to continue writing it alone. In short, it is not easy to generate electricity for love. I also hope that you can go far and complete it.

The introduction may be better written, paying attention to the branches and highlights.

Please read mine too and support each other!

Look at me, support each other.

It's very innovative. Come on, I hope the author will become a god soon. I would rather the author come and sit at my place

The protagonist's abilities are quite powerful. If it were a physicist, there would be no need to play with invalid relativity and quantum mechanics.

Thank you

Hello fellow Taoist, I have another one and want to trouble you again to see what problems I have with my latest three chapters. I hope you can be more venomous, I'm not afraid of that. At the same time, I offer ten recommendation votes, and I also ask fellow Taoists to accept them.

Fellow Taoist, I am here again. A new book has been opened. If you are free, you would like to come and sit at my place. You are welcome to visit me at any time.

Is it He Zhang? Then the content was overhauled.

Why don't fellow Taoists update? If there is air conditioning, I would like to invite fellow Taoists to come and sit at my place again.

The core problem of your first chapter is that the pacing is slow, the setting is weak, and the conflict is passive, making it difficult to meet the gold standard of opening a web article.

Hello book friends, the following is my personal opinion First of all, the writing style is relatively mature, and the ability to express narrative is very fiery, so it reads smoothly. Secondly, the world background and extraordinary system settings are very innovative, which may be the reason why I don't often read Western fantasy novels. In my opinion, this is the case, so it is a bit difficult for me to understand. This book actually has a certain reading threshold, and it may need to be targeted at the audience. Looking at the logic of the novel regardless of the genre, the biggest thing that strikes me is that the early pace is too slow, and you have done too much narration and psychological description. Of course, this may be a necessary plot for you to abandon the setting, but it will lead to a decrease in the reader's patience and a lower sense of expectation. Moreover, there are too few conflicts in the early stage, especially insufficient conflicts that can arouse emotions, which will further amplify the disadvantages caused by the slow pace. Now that I have read the eleven chapters, I feel that they all have this flavor, like a literary coat wrapped in a scientific and engineering chip. It feels like your profession is like typing code. You like to use some logical colors to express many descriptive paragraphs. This style has a small audience and a high threshold. Secondly, readers cannot mobilize their emotions. It seems that they are in a state of "emotional armament". If they are not up or down, and they are holding their breath, they will not be able to punch out. The dialogue characteristics of Western fantasy novels are different from daily language habits. If the writing style lacks emotional arousal, readers will easily jump out of the sense of substitution. In fact, thanks to your control of words, many of your shots describe well, but often there is just some sense of picture, and the subsequent expressions make people feel a bit like a drama. In addition, the protagonist's character color and image creation. In fact, I was quite surprised at the beginning of the story. In a time-traveling section, Su's performance and psychological description can be described as neither sad nor happy. I don't know whether you intentionally created such a character with this tone, or because the time-traveling section is too homogeneous. I don't want to waste more words, but it should have the heart. Reasoning, panic, curiosity, reluctance, excitement, the protagonist should always have the same emotions. You seem to have overused a few sentences, and there is no follow-up to this paragraph. When reading this way, it feels like this tone runs through the whole. Su's image is not full enough in front of the reader, lacking flesh and blood. Having said so much, I haven't thought of anything else yet. You can refer to it selectively. If you have any ideas later, I will add them. Thank you again for your visit and attention.