The Campus Belle Asked Me to Catch Ghosts, So I Pulled Out a Marriage Contract

My grandfather is the current Celestial Master of Longhu Mountain. He’s a ninth-grade expert at drawing talismans and summoning lightning, and he exorcises demons by day and enjoys wine and women by night. My grandmother is an heir to an ancient line of shamanic physicians. She can bring the dead back to life and restore flesh to bare bones, and with a single look, she can make my grandfather kneel on a washboard with his Demon-Slaying Sword in hand. My dad says he’s the boss of the Corpse-Refining Sect in western Hunan. He can even train his zombie underlings to dance the “Subject Three.” My mom is the most powerful spirit medium among the Five Immortals of the Northeast. Fox, Weasel, Hedgehog, Snake, and Rat spirits all call her “Grand Aunt” when they see her. My older sister is a personal disciple of the Gu King of Miaojiang. She has more venomous Gu bugs than I have pocket money, and whenever she’s in a bad mood, she curses me with one. As for me, Lin Dong, I’m a bona fide third-generation master of the occult arts, a couch potato with every skill point maxed out. All I want is to lie flat. I don’t want to lift a finger to exorcise demons. Fox spirits and other freaky things, stay away. Who put the marriage contract for the campus belle in my suitcase? Forget the campus belle. Do I, Lin Dong, look like some lustful lecher? Though, I have to admit, she really is beautiful. A high ponytail, long legs, a slender waist, and a cute little butt. So when Shen Siya, the campus belle who was now his wife, blinked her big, doe-like eyes and pleaded, “Lin Dong, could you help me catch a little ghost?” Lin Dong immediately leaned back with a tactical flourish, nose in the air. “A ghost?” Lin Dong waved his hand with the confidence of a conqueror. “I wouldn’t catch one even for a dog!” A moment later, after hearing what Shen Siya whispered in his ear, Lin Dong, who hadn’t wanted to help, perked right up. I wouldn’t catch one for a dog, but I’ll catch one myself. I’m the one who catches ghosts! The onlookers nearby, including the Ghost King and fox spirits, all grumbled, “Come on, man, where’s your dignity?”