Soccer in a Fairy-Tale World

(No prior reading required) The cheetah listens for the starting gun at the starting line. A frog leaps forward and lands in a sand pit five meters away, while the Kangaroo King celebrates beneath the stands after claiming yet another high-jump championship. This is an ancient and mysterious age. Sports have replaced brutal wars, and the 283 animal nations must work hard at the events they excel in to win a greater voice on the international stage. Of all the sporting events, soccer is the most important, and its value is the greatest. Far away in the west, in a place called Pumpkin Village, George stands with both front paws on a stool. He was born for this era. “I’m Lightning from Crooked-Neck Pumpkin Elementary! I’m the pride of Pumpkin Village, and the greatest soccer star in the Holy Pig Empire!” “Hmph, Little Roll, class ends in three minutes. Stick close to me, or we won’t get any pumpkin cakes.” … [Competition Rules (Lower League)] 1. Participants must be under ten years old. 2. Only mammals may participate. Competitors must weigh no more than 80 kg and stand no taller than two meters. Players may not have more than six legs… 3. The champion’s village will receive a two-month tax exemption. So what if I was born into poverty? I’ll bathe my people in the glory I win!!!