Destiny Is Uncertain

Dude, I'm from Tieba. After reading two chapters, I couldn't stand it. There is no desire to watch it.

Keeping books can cause data problems Even platinum money can cause problems

Read the first chapter first, and I'll give you a pick. Your writing style is imaginative and fantasy-oriented, but your classification of books is traditional Western fantasy that can accept a certain degree of seriousness. The slow pace is not a problem, but the first chapter is full of human confusion. The first half of the story is still written with "I", but later it becomes a third-party perspective, and the last sentence is separated from the perspective and is simply described. "I" doesn't mean you can't write. Using the first person when appropriate can deepen the immersion. On the mobile phone, there is a description with unknown meaning in the second paragraph of the seventh page of the first chapter. It is suspected that the punctuation is wrong. Is the action of showing the wound really not an action description but the words of someone who cannot see it? This does not mean that speaking in traditional Western fantasy requires a translator's accent, but overly lively dialogue still needs to be combined with the character's personality and the scene. The sense of anticipation is too simple, just like the ancient RPG game. After you explore the first map, it goes black and gives you a sentence, "XX's story begins."

Recommend it to your friends quickly, I can't sleep at night

Absolutely not Shuiwen and Gugugu Update 4,000 copies per day, start

After reading a few more chapters, the setting is almost thrown out in the fourth chapter. This will be a little dissuasive, but there should be a lot of chapters one and two that slipped away. The writing is actually okay, but the person problem still exists, and the style that was still lively at the beginning begins to shrink later, so there is a sense of fragmentation.

Was the author ever a sailor? What I wrote is so taken for granted