The Dao Becomes a Strange Immortal

[Won third prize in a primary school essay contest in 2001. Read with confidence.] On the low hills outside Nancheng stood the Three Immortals Shrine. Li Wushou, an old beggar, and Chen Gou’er lived there. After hearing Wu Zhuangyuan’s tale, Li Wushou and Chen Gou’er wanted to become immortals. Chen Gou’er was always clamoring to snatch himself a place among the immortals. Li Wushou and the old beggar told him to calm down. Later, Li Wushou sculpted a gilded statue for the City God and received a book on Yin cultivation. He wanted to cultivate, but he had no Yin meridians. The old beggar bit off one of his fingers and swallowed it, then begged a Mother-and-Child Wraith for a pair of Yin meridians. Later still, they heard that once one’s cultivation reached a high enough level, the essence, energy, and spirit would merge into one, forming a Golden Core. Li Wushou restored his internal organs and found his bones. His physical body was finally complete, but he had no spirit. How could he unite essence, energy, and spirit? The spirit of a Yin spirit is still a spirit! So he picked a decent spirit, ate it, and absorbed it into his body. And that was how he became a Golden Core True Person. What about the Nascent Soul? Just eat another one! Or make Chen Gou’er go steal one! Or have the old beggar go beg for one! If it works, who cares what path you take to immortality?