Ordinary Students at Hogwarts

When you write a Harry Potter fanfic, you don't know the plot. It's obvious that the readers have opened their eyes. However, you are pretending to be a passerby here, and it is difficult to have a sense of involvement. It is purely daily and superficial. Even if you have a good idea, it is easy to leak out when the readers know the ending. To be honest, it is better to put aside Harry's world view and write a magical book by yourself, and it will become popular in the circle in two and a half weeks 😏

It's just a hands-on work. Brother, I don't know if it's a problem with your writing style or the way you write it. I'm really tired from reading it. I can't get into it after just two pictures. I won't talk about it until I read it. I'm just giving you some advice. I can't stand it for the rest of my life. People who live in a non-supernatural world suddenly come into contact with magic, and dive in with one hundred percent focus, pursuing the end of magic or something. And I think the limit of magic in HP should be that wizards are both gods. All wishes come true.

ai diagram

If something doesn't look right, just say it 😭

I don't know the protagonist of the plot, the original heroine. . Damn it, do you want to get ahead with this book? I suggest the author directly read the book Homecoming, which has the same original heroine, and then compare the gap between himself and it. That book is already the ceiling for original plots and original heroines, but it is still only a small boutique. With a huge gap in the same type of works, what else can it do besides being a hit on the street?

Do you feel that the relationship between the male and female protagonists comes so suddenly?

Maybe it's because I haven't read too many fanfics, but this is the first protagonist I've seen who didn't participate in the Triwizard Tournament and could get himself into such a miserable state.

It's okay, there's no big surprise. The protagonist is a Muggle-born Hufflepuff, Cedric's roommate in the same grade. It's been a peaceful daily life so far. I'm looking forward to how we will deal with it three years after the triggering of the plot. The latest chapter mentions the real world. I am looking forward to whether the prophet will be used to do something in this dimension.

Weasley made props in first grade? Do they have the technology and cost?

Halfway through watching it, I just felt that the protagonist has an inexplicable arrogance towards other people that adults have towards children. Other than that, none of his character traits impressed me😅

A time-traveler doesn't know that the plot is not cheating. Why do you think that you can change anything with your own participation? Although Voldemort behaved very stupidly, he was able to control part of his power when he was not studying. Even among geniuses, he can be ranked high. After decades of accumulation, even if it is a bit crazy, you, a Muggle, have the upper hand.

I've seen the latest chapter. The author writes quite well, with a lot of daily life, but that's what I like 😆. Personally speaking, I hope the author writes more daily life (although it may not be to the public's taste). At the same time, since there is a single female protagonist, I hope the author can write the emotional line well (so far, it's pretty good), give the female protagonist more roles, and establish a good image.

Other than that, I think it's okay. The writing and the plot are all OK. As long as it's not purely indigenous, I can accept it if I know more or less about the plot. After all, the novel still depends on the quality of the content. However, in the plot before and after the protagonist is Legilimency, I personally feel that the flaws are quite big. I think it may be a big poisonous point for many people. According to the analysis of the protagonist's experience described by the author, time travelers are relatively rational, mature and stable people, seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and have huge secrets that cannot be angered. After knowing the magic of Legilimency and its casting principles, the performance was still OK, including the temporary performance when facing Rozier again later. But after Rozier talked to the protagonist and ran away, the protagonist suddenly let down his guard and other behaviors, which started to be a bit inexplicable. It felt like it was forced to set up foreshadowing (I want to emphasize that I am not the kind of reader who loves to watch Invincible series and cannot accept the protagonist's setbacks). The main reason is that there is a bit of separation from the previous protagonist's personality. I will list a few reasons: 1. For example, I have a secret that must not be known to anyone, but someone can read thoughts and memories through the magic of Legilimency. Then, the first reaction is to stay away. 2. There is another small plot in the follow-up, which is Dumbledore's inquiry. When I saw this, my first reaction was that the protagonist is indeed not a fool. He will communicate with Dumbledore in detail about this matter, and suspects that he has been subjected to Legilimency, so he wants to practice Occlumency and get some advice. (It may fail to achieve the goal, but as a Muggle who doesn't understand the magical world, when faced with this kind of opportunity to face authority, I really feel ashamed that the author has given such a good character to the protagonist if he doesn't use some information.) However, it is very different from what I thought. The protagonist apologized directly, although it is also a way to deal with it. However, combined with the previous article, I have been proactively brainwashing myself to talk about prejudices, generalizations, etc., But it always gave me a blunt foreshadowing. This part of the plot has not been smoothed out. It feels like I did not pay too much attention or not spend too much time to structure this part of the plot to make the plot more reasonable.

It is a grudge, with a twisted character and a twisted plot. I also want to write about a prophet brought by time travel who relies on his foresight to save people. I also want to portray the protagonist as a smart person who does not rely on the plot. Moreover, all inferences related to the plot must be denied, so as to set off the protagonist's insecurities. You understand the plot, which is understandable, but you are denying for the sake of denying. You don't care at all that the negative assumption is not logical. Instead, the entire character is bound by the time-travel setting without knowing the plot. You want to keep fans who read about time-travel and also want to attract some people who read about indigenous people.

Deevens

If there is something wrong with the plot and you don't like it, you can check out other HP fans. Did I subscribe for so long to no avail?

This plot is enough. It doesn't matter if the protagonist doesn't know the original work, just a little impression of it is enough. But when he knows the rat, is it too clumsy for you to write like this? Find various excuses to cover up the past. A normal person knows there is a problem, so why not experiment. It's a mouse anyway. Seize it first and then talk about it. Leave it to Dumbledore and it will be solved with just one question. And on the level of the protagonist. He also faced Voldemort so many times. Why do you feel like you're not stepping up? Later, the first person to die was the protagonist. Your level is too slow. The protagonist still has fun playing around. I don't know the specific plot, but I know roughly that he still has thoughts and doesn't want to learn. I'm still worried about this and that, and I'm really turning into a child. Slow heating doesn't mean you're talking about water. When Harry had something to do, the protagonist asked him to find Dumbledore. Now I just hold it in there if I have something to do. The main reason is that you write too slowly. If you had more. These problems are no longer problems. So the author needs to add more updates.