Phantom Fox

If the author wants to hear rainbow farts, he can delete my post. I suggest you delete the prologue and the first chapter. These two chapters serve no purpose other than to dissuade readers. Start the overhaul from Chapter 2 and delete all irrelevant descriptions. You think your writing is good, but in fact, readers think it is all nonsense. Just like you buy a box of pies. I opened the box and wanted to eat it, but there was another box inside. That box was very beautiful. I opened the box again and wanted to eat it, but there was still a box inside. After reading your prologue and the first chapter, it was like opening two boxes in a row, wanting to eat the pie but not finding it. The third person, finally had a pie, and it ended up being wrapped in half a box. You are selling pies, not boxes.

Your novels are closer to literature. This is good. Many people say that you spend too many words describing scenery. This is the suggestion from the web article. Because readers of online articles like to make up their own minds. But as far as literature is concerned, these scenery should be described. Don't doubt yourself. You also write very well. I roughly know the pictures and scenes you imagined. It even feels like a movie storyboard. I hate fairy tales. I can't stand other online articles. But in your novel, when the subject matter is very uninteresting, I can read the third chapter. It can only be said that there are still differences between online writing and literature. Adjust your mentality and goals yourself. Also, the small collection may be a technical problem. It's not entirely about Qidian readers.

The first glance made me choke. I read it with the mentality of reading online articles, but the way you write it feels more like traditional serious literature. It's not suitable for the feeling of reading ten lines at a glance. It's quite tiring and chokes me.

What can I say, the writing is good. I only briefly read one chapter, and as an ordinary reader, I can comment that apart from the description of the environment in the first half, there are also fighting scenes in the second half. Anyway, I can't understand what you want to do. Who is the protagonist, what does the protagonist want to do, what is the protagonist's situation and background, I don't understand it anyway, so I don't understand it, and I don't have any sense of involvement or identification.

Like on Zhihu, even though I haven't read it, the perseverance of millions of words is far beyond ordinary people

Actually, online novels are pretty low-key, and he doesn't pay much attention to writing requirements. On the contrary, it is important whether he is happy or unhappy with the storyline. The author's writing is very good, but I think it is a bit out of the category of Shuangwen Internet articles, so no one reads it.

This book was definitely a good book at the time of Huanzhu Louzhu, but now, alas...

From Zhihu, I can see your love. Come on.

After reading part of it, I don't dare to say anything high-minded, I just want to talk about it from a reader's perspective Advantages: First, the most obvious and easiest to ignore, the author is really persistent. I have witnessed with my own eyes and experienced it myself that perseverance is a difficult thing. In any case, for the author to be able to complete such a work, he not only likes it, it can be called a passion. This step has exceeded more than 90% of people. If you can, please continue to work hard. Second, it is obvious that the author has some writing skills. Some descriptions, setting poems, etc. Can all show that he has accumulated literary literacy in his daily life. If you can make good use of it, it can add a lot of color to the article. Unfortunately, apart from these two points, I have not found any other shining points yet, maybe because I have read relatively little of this novel. Disadvantages: First, the plot is too straightforward. Generally speaking, reading the article is like looking at the mountain scenery, seeing the rise and fall instead of the end at a glance. Similar to the more gentle farming and daily writing, even if there are not too many twists in the big plot, it should be outstanding in the farm period in order to retain readers. Two, the writing style is ancient and the rhythm is slow. No matter what you do, the most taboo thing is to do things behind closed doors. Stones from other mountains can be used to attack jade. If you want to live in the present and win in the present, it is necessary to go with the flow. There is no shame in learning, but there is shame in not being able to learn. Understand the current trends. If you have your own ideas, you can combine them, but it is best not to follow your own ideas. Unless you are doing it purely as a hobby and don't want to make money at all. When you become a great god, then you will have the qualifications and strength to stand alone. Three, it involves writing skills. Love is a hobby, then career is life. If you want to make a living from this, you need to learn something. Personally speaking, in addition to the plot of the immortal novel, I prefer to watch the intense fighting scenes. I think a good description of the battle should be quite attractive. In addition, some mysterious and treacherous exercises, magical weapons with unpredictable magical powers, etc. Will also add a lot of interest to the fairy tales. Including a sense of substitution and so on. In any case, any completed work is the author's painstaking work. In this novel, we can also see the author's intention and literary quality. If the author hopes to make money from writing, he may have to keep up his efforts. If the author just wants to vent his hobbies, then he doesn't need to worry about what others think and just write.

Is this a previous book? Have you seen it and evaluated it?

I think it's ok. The Internet is not just the Qidian platform. If you have a small audience but want to have more readers, don't sign a contract with the platform. After signing, the copyright is not yours. If you don't sign, the copyright is yours. You can publish on hundreds or thousands of platforms on the Internet, and the audience will be wide.

From beginning to end, it looks much better than many others on the shelves, and the overall impression is good. The male protagonist is not very likable, pedantic and indecisive. But fortunately, the heroine and the supporting cast are well portrayed, much better than the male protagonist. Every time I see the male protagonist making promises to others, I want to hit him on the head with a rebar. While promising to Liushuang that he would be able to practice dual cultivation after lifting the curse seal, he promised to Yaotao to take care of her until her death, and promised to be the head of the Juque Sect. Accepting Yaotao's solution to the curse is the biggest drawback. A person who talks about guardianship all day long, knowing that someone else will suffer huge backlash if they resolve the curse, and even unable to take care of themselves, will accept it happily, and even want to buy one and get one free. After finally breaking the curse, he threw the promise aside and abandoned others. Alas, selfishness is added.

I feel like I can submit to a magazine that publishes serial novels. I wonder if the author has read that magazine. The style is very similar to the way I used to read short stories and long serial novels in magazines. Or should I submit more in the future?

The writing style is mediocre, and it can write fire, but the routines and writing techniques are obviously not good. This is the way you wrote it more than ten years ago. The big opening scene + fighting is too cliché. The readers can get too little information. Of course, they cannot take it in, so they are not interested in watching it. The popular writing method now is to find a popular creative subject, and then start it from the perspective of the character and a plot acceptable to the readers. For example, for example, the protagonist discovers that he has traveled to a mountain where monsters are inhabited, and encounters monsters coming down the mountain to eat people. Give a short-term pressure and goal, instead of chasing each other in the fog, without the process of intensification and explosion of conflicts. What readers want is a sense of expectation, and expect the intensification and explosion of contradictions. It is a process, an expectation of results, not a pure result. Change your writing routine and your writing style should be able to

Author, first of all, your writing style is very good. I have seen some readers saying that the scene descriptions can be deleted. I personally think this does not matter, but the dialogues in the next few chapters are a bit wordy. Those dialogues that are not conflicts should be deleted or abbreviated. My humble opinion, what does the author think?

Writing is like creating a world, you create a world. Keep up the good work! Internet writing is like this. There are many routine templates. If you don't want to make money, you can write according to your own ideas.

I read half of the prologue, but it has no practical significance. The first few hundred words of description of the environment in this chapter are just a few words, which affects the experience very much. The battle between the two people at the end has very unfamiliar names, the dialogue is very average, and they also reveal their own skills. The description of the battle is not bad, but it is not great either. In addition, it seems that it should be a battle between top combat forces. This description is not enough. It is not recommended to write about a battle between top combat forces. This is digging a hole for yourself. . . . . And at the end of this chapter, we still don't know who the protagonist is It's normal to jump

Coming from Zhihu, I can only say that the problem is not with you, but with this platform.