The Classic of Mountains and Seas: Under the Three Emperors

The three emperors ascended and created the way of heaven. In the struggle for divine power, all things are treated as pawns. Gods determine victory or defeat, and everything is determined by life and death. If you are unkind, I will break your heaven. After going through many dangers, Xiao Nan discovered the flag bearer, got close to the flag bearer, understood the flag bearer, became the flag bearer, and overturned the table.

The author, although I say this book is too late, I still want to make a few suggestions, I hope it will be of some use to you I am a loyal reader of Fenghuo and Zhaizhu, and I also really like the books of Bear, Wolf and Dog, so I may include a lot of personal opinions in my comments, which may not be accurate First of all, from the beginning For example, when I first saw the novel, I thought it was very similar to the narrative I wrote when I was in junior high school. The text is more written, but in fact, I personally feel that this writing style is not very suitable for novels. I will use Sword as an example. This is the most impressive paragraph in Sword to Come: After running far away, the boy turned his head and looked back for some reason. I saw the gentleman standing at the door all the time, his figure bathed in the sun, looking from a distance, he looked like a god. This is a passage from your article that I used for comparison: In the shop, a woman was dressed in gorgeous clothes, with an angry frown and a superior look. I don't know if you can see the difference, but from my perspective, Mr. Qi's figure standing in the sun immediately appeared in my mind. Why? In fact, my writing skills are not very good, but from my personal opinion, first of all, it is the foreshadowing of Mr. Yu Qi's gentle and gentle gentleman image, and then from the perspective of Chen Ping'an, he looks like a god, which makes him feel very immersive. As for the author's problem here, I think it is that the transition is too abrupt. The word "aloof" is too naive, and secondly, there is no perspective of narration. It is purely from the third person, rather than like Jianlai, in Use Chen Ping'an's perspective to depict the characters in the early stages. The third reason is that your wording is too general. Dressed in fancy clothes, angry face and slightly frowned, these words are a bit mechanical and the sentences do not make sense. At the same time, it is difficult for people to imagine the specific scene. Looking at the plot, to be honest, I probably couldn't stand it when I saw the third chapter. The plot was too confusing (of course, it's possible that I read it too quickly and didn't read it carefully?) In the first chapter, the mortals defeated the practitioners, but the second chapter seemed to jump directly to memories? If I understand correctly, then this transition is a bit too abrupt and lacks a lot of foreshadowing, because it starts directly with: xxx's life experience is bizarre, but in fact, as a reader, I have not yet realized some basic information about Xiao Nan. For example, in The Goddess of the Shepherd, regarding the scene when Qin Mu was picked up, Zhai Zhu first said that he picked it up, and then slowly unfolded the setting later. That's all for now, I'm going to bed first

The road is long and far away, I will search up and down, work hard and encourage each other 😁