If the Three Kingdoms

"Duan Xuan, I heard that you, Lang Ben, were smeared in feces?" "Tao Qian, I heard that you were beaten to death?" "Hua Tuo, I heard that you are a master of skull opening?" "Cao Cao, I heard that your buttocks were burned by fire?" "Liu Bei, I heard that you are a golden retriever?" "Ge Liang, I heard that you instigated the stealing of Dongfeng?" "Huang Zhong, I heard that you can walk and string sheep together?" "Zhang Jiao, I heard that you can only run 100 meters per second?" "Wei Yan, I heard that you betrayed the Lord and protected the loyal?" (Wei Yan: Fart! That was done by a wild dog!) … If there were no satin gowns in the Three Kingdoms, there were only suits and hot pants; if there were no swords and swords in the Three Kingdoms, there were only laughter and curses; if there were no sieges of cities and territories in the Three Kingdoms, there was only food, drink and entertainment... If the heroes of the Three Kingdoms lived in a steel jungle watered by technology, would they still be the same people you know?