Border of Heaven

Damn old committee member, I'm going to twist what you wrote into a rope and slap it on your ass!

Hmm, it's a bit hard to comment after looking around. The front part is too long, I can't see what is written.

The scene jumps are too hard to be confusing, there are too many adjectives, and it was a bit wordy until Chapter 6. The psychological description of the character dialogue, and the turning point of the fight story are a bit green. Generally speaking, as long as you can write well, you can tinker with it.

If you don't know what to say, let's just curse a few words🤓👆

I don't know what to scold, so let's read 🤓🤓

🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌