Time Travel Game: Starting from Growing Ark

Talking to yourself is a taboo. You can't just write down roughly what's on your mind. You can fill in the details by yourself and imagine their expressions and postures when they speak. Readers can only feel it from the words, and writing it all out will be very procrastinating and lengthy. So I hope the author can add more to what you want to write. For example, if you want to say that the phantom has no clothes at the beginning, you can simply add one sentence instead of saying that I need clothes in a roundabout way. Finally, give me a brief description of wearing clothes. Is this really meaningful? But don't mention it for everything. I can only say that this is the rhythm and ability of writing, and the subject matter is good. The most difficult thing about writing is not the things piled up with gorgeous words. Don't fall into misunderstandings.

Does the author know what kind of game "Contempt" is? ⊙_⊙ What you write is an MMORPG online game. Isn't this game very different from the real-life "Contempt"?

There is no connection between one thing and the other, and they jump over abruptly, just like flipping through two pages at once, which is not smooth.

There is one more problem I want to mention before I withdraw the story about the heroine, that is, I can't tell the difference between the protagonist and the supporting role.

It is very unreasonable to use bean sprouts as food, because making bean sprouts requires a lot of fresh water, and the vitamin C content of bean sprouts is relatively small. The plant that can really supplement vc and is easy to preserve is actually potatoes.

It's a very nice book, Age of Discovery + DND, it looks interesting.

Chapter 4 is terrible. The combat description is a mess, and the character dialogue is weird. I hope things will get better in the future. The setting is still interesting, don't put too much poison in it

170,000 Words and so few comments? Let me see what's going on

The plot is inexplicably written. I skipped the parts that should be written in detail, and the places that shouldn't be written are verbose.

I thought the clone was a different race and profession, but why is it exactly the same as the original body?

Insert your eyes, give me a kick with 150,000 words

The idea is quite good and the writing is beautiful, but the sentences are too cumbersome. It would be nice to make them concise.

Will the subsequent clones have twin summoner cards? Use the ability to summon monsters, which is basically impossible to use, in exchange for five points of advancement, and then bring back a love tower or angel phantom🤪

I've been playing Ark: Survival Evolved so much lately that I thought it was the Ark I was talking about 😂

Author, is one chapter too long? Please divide it into two chapters. There are just over 20 chapters in 100,000 words, which will affect your grades.