My Pokemon Player

The subject matter is considered novel. At the beginning, problems in writing, narrative rhythm, plot design and other aspects can be covered up, but as the novel slowly progresses, these problems will gradually become apparent. These problems are basic skills and are not easy to improve. But I noticed another aspect, it is possible to find new ways to help authors improve their reading experience in a short period of time. I don't know if the author himself has noticed that the dialogues of the characters in the book are seriously homogeneous or have obvious tool-like attributes. There are often dialogues that are featureless, and it's hard to tell who said it without the names, or even which book it is from, or it's too stiff to advance the plot. And coincidentally, the various reactions between players and aborigines, including dialogues, inner monologues, online comments, etc., Are a highlight of this type of novel, and this type of text will occupy a large space in the novel. Therefore, if the author can design their own unique dialogue characteristics for different characters, it will not only help shape the characters, but also make Shuangdian better looking. The most important thing is that I read the whole article. It's not so much the author's limited ability in this regard, but more like he has no such awareness at all, so I think this is easy to improve and can optimize the reading experience in a short time.

What was written well in the early stage has changed in the later stage. There is no point in focusing on the mythical beast. In fact, the main thing is to develop the territory. Your span is too big. If you write about the territory later, it will be a bit broken. In our eyes, it is just turning on big plug-ins. When developing the territory, it is boring. The setting is quite good. Don't write about the mythical beast. Come here to see this. Who cares about the mythical beast? Isn't it just to see the players?

I haven't watched it yet, so some players are praising Pokémon?

? ? ? I wrote about eating elves once before in Chapter 208. I said it was to explain the source of meat, so I skipped it without going into details. I tolerated it, but in the latest chapter, Chapter 216, I wrote about eating elves again. I feel that most people who read elf novels don't care about eating meat and will skip it by themselves. You made a close-up about eating elves disgusting a lot of people. Are you screening readers because your grades are too good? There is also a description of the protagonist when eating a Slowpoke. The following is an excerpt from the original text: When Ryan thought of the Slowpoke's tail, he couldn't help but salivate. After the player brought back the first Slowpoke, he couldn't wait to taste the Slowpoke's tail. After repeatedly confirming that the Slowpoke would not feel the pain in the tail, he had the Slowpoke's tail pulled off, and then asked the chef to cook it briefly and serve it up. And the moment he bit off his tail, Ryan decided that he must breed more Slowpoke! The taste is so wonderful! I don't know how to put it, it feels like being a cousin and setting up a memorial arch. I can't wait to eat it, and I double check whether it will hurt

It is unreasonable that the protagonist's Poké Ball should be obtained randomly. The protagonist should have the ability to purchase Poké Balls through the system. Otherwise, there will never be a Poke Ball, and the player will not be able to become a trainer, causing the progress to be stuck in infrastructure and unable to go out.

What can I say, I feel that the protagonist's background is too shallow, he doesn't have a hand that can beat the bottom of the box, and there is a gap with the starting line of the players, but it's not big. It was even more uncomfortable when the Poseidon Temple personnel were specially introduced, exposing their knowledge, exposing the epoch-making Poké Ball, and exposing the scarcity of medicine equivalent to holy water in the eyes of others. It doesn't matter if you don't reveal your wealth unless you have the confidence. But the problem is that the protagonist is just beating up a small group of knights around one of the three saint candidates. Not to mention the entire Poseidon Religion, but their southern region cannot compare. If you have a Z God, I won't stop you even if you go to their headquarters. Also, this saint is not well-shaped. She is here to pinch the soft persimmons, not to gnaw the hard bones. If I were her, I would either directly report it and drink some soup to gain some credit, or I would seize the time to change places and quickly develop my power.

This book is actually still being updated. I would like to advise newcomers, if you come here for Pokémon + the fourth natural disaster, you will definitely be disappointed. I can only say that this book doesn't understand Pokémon at all, and there is very little content for players.

Guanhai City has been under attack for a month, but it hasn't been defeated yet? Why are you procrastinating? It's just a small county and prefecture-level city. Are you going to attack Ukraine?

This book is really a waste of rare creativity. The more the content is written, the more biased it becomes. Whether it is viewed from the perspective of elves or the fourth natural disaster, this book is seriously off-topic.

I have read 60 chapters and my personal opinion is that I don't like to fight but don't criticize Many book friends have mentioned the issues of pacing, writing, and characterization I won't mention it again The main thing is that the Pokémon subjugation part felt a bit too casual to me. It's like playing a real game. After beating the Pokémon head-on, throwing a ball to treat it and feeding it, it will immediately become a happy and obedient partner But regardless of what the reality may be like, even in animations and comics, conquering Pokémon's hearts is not so casual. When Xiaozhi first got the Skin God, he was electrocuted several times. Finally, he was beaten by Spearow to gain his first wave of trust. Not to mention whether all Pokémon have the value of surrendering to the opponent after being defeated head-on (the circle bear is still beaten), some complaints such as "Pokémon unwilling to evolve happen to be with Ash" to get rid of the situation where Pokémon may be unwilling to evolve, or the fact that after being subdued by Ghost, he directly accepted that he had to fight against his former friend Dream Demon, it was too casual. Even if Pokémon are innocent and simple creatures, this is a little too easy to fool. Particularly the details of the capture of the blue jay made me feel a little numb... Knowing that all the chicks in the nest would probably die if I didn't raise them myself, the blue jay accepted the fact that he was beaten and kidnapped. The story of being released to heal was briefly mentioned, without any mention of anything related to chick tits. Then, instead of just running away after eating the protagonist's food, he tried to persuade the protagonist to follow him. The explanation for this paragraph is even "Pokémon will usually obey the trainer after being tamed, except for a few unique ones who will not throw the ball." Normally, it would be nice if you didn't resist desperately when this kind of situation occurs. How can you accept that you suddenly have a master? They are creatures with their own opinions. It is unreasonable to have no personality. In the context of an era where the relationship between humans and Pokémon is very poor, it is unreasonable to be suddenly beaten and locked in a space, and to immediately accept that one has to fight for the trainer. The most impressive character I have read so far is the Flying Mantis at the beginning (the others are innocent and wronged), but after a few sentences to resolve the knot, he became a fighting tool. (Not to mention Rotom, who is really a tool of love) As for the Pokémon that players have conquered... Many of them are still timid characters who are unfamiliar with the environment and are afraid. After finding a trainer, they can start a passionate fight with Rattata for their master without any preparation? Did it change so quickly? Even if some of them were encouraged to fight, they should at least write it down... They just passed it without even a single stroke. It can be said that the creation of Pokémon is hardly a character, and has no characteristics compared to the players. In a book that strives for peaceful coexistence between humans and Pokémon, it's a shame that it doesn't explore any issues of respect for Pokémon.

Should I use your writing for the anime plot? Just write your own plot well and explain it to the readers for two chapters. Which reader doesn't know? This protagonist hasn't appeared in many chapters. Is there half of the protagonist's plot in the middle and later stages?

What about the interaction between players and Pokémon? It all depends on you pretending to be stupid with various forces, and coming for players and Pokémon. As a result, I almost forgot that this is a fourth natural disaster article.

I watched it with great expectations, but it turned out to be more and more sidetracked. It was all meaningless nonsense. There was no Pokémon creation at all. The Pokémon at the beginning were not going to appear, right? They looked so different. I suspected that it was written by Ai, but Ai doesn't seem to be that good at it.

The war that has foreshadowed more than 300 chapters is written like this. Does your editor have no regard for you at all?

It's tasteless. With all due respect, the core of Pokémon + The Fourth Natural Disaster should be the story between players and Pokémon, rather than how the protagonist fights for hegemony in another world.

After reading more than ten chapters, I feel that the fourth natural disaster does not show the advantages of players over the aboriginal people. To take care of Pokémon, aboriginal people need to be taken care of. Players have to go back to reality. There is a limit on the number of Poké Balls. It would be meaningless to give them to players by then. In reality, when they go back, the Pokémon are still taken care of by aboriginal people. It is better to just give the ball to the aboriginal people.

There are few Pokémon scenes, and there are few player scenes. It is said to be a lord story, and there is little territory construction content. There are always a bunch of people talking about the word count, and the Pokémon characters are not enough. I have almost forgotten the characters of Moon Bear and Mosquito Frog. There is really no need to negotiate with the Chamber of Commerce, write four or five chapters, and then make crazy gags.

I don't understand why there is a saint in this book. It doesn't matter if there is little plot. There are more than ten chapters in a row that are all about the saint. The development is not promoted in this way. There is no plot for the players, but there is still some plot for the protagonist.

It's really watery, it's like a contemporary Dragon King. To be honest, it's starting to deviate from the topic The first part is a bit like the fourth natural disaster, but the middle period is completely a medieval hegemony story. I just want to ask you, do you remember the last time you recruited players and the number of players you have now? The concept of the fourth plague is a mess. The article is written in hundreds of chapters. Guanhai City has been written from dozens of chapters to more than 500 chapters. If these players were replaced by indigenous people, it would be barely passable with a medieval theme in the Pokémon world. , Saying reluctantly because you are too naive is the same as changing the subject. Now I am deviating from the theme, the plot of medieval hegemony, the description of the fourth natural disaster, the plot of the original work, the plot of the protagonist, and the foreshadowing of my father. The plot is blunt, and I feel very separated after watching it.

Very good subject matter. But the writing was too long. The dialogue between several militia teams in Guanhai City could also be written in one chapter. Most of the people watching this are probably here for Pokémon and the Fourth Scourge. There are too many plots and conspiracies.

The writing of the first step when the player first arrives is okay , but the further you get to the back, the more difficult it is. You have to give 3,000 words of psychological description to others. It's not so much to express your feelings. You can write a 10,000-word psychological description and profile description of someone's action to give you a gift. You are really not what I said, you are really bad, no. There is no plot, but it is all about explaining what is going on. There is no plot at all. The description of the details is also terrible. It is so bad that it is hard to say. Writing a plot has no description of the environment, no description of the scene, and no description of the character's actions. It is all narration. What do they mean by saying that they do this? What are you doing? The entire novel is narrated by narration, explaining everything to you, what are they doing, and why are they successful? Damn it, can't you just write out the plot? Why do you still need to write narration? Especially during the battle, I have no idea what I am doing, and I really stop narrating from time to time. You write about two elves fighting, and then write three to four thousand words, more than half of which are narration. Taking a bath makes me very confused, what is the trainer next to me doing? What is the other elf companion doing next to him? You deleted them all and had no idea what they were doing, so they were all ignored

Let me know for sure if you want to write or not. I have been waiting for so long and I hope you will come back. If you don't write, we will be cut off from our thoughts.

You can delete the book and scatter it. That's what novels are like. Once you get lazy and can't keep your promise, you will become a eunuch 🤫

Author, how long are you going to take a break and will you finish writing this book?

The author hasn't updated anymore, how long has it been?

It's been two months, he's not really a eunuch anymore, right?

It's not like I've never seen a eunuch who was a mess, but it's the first time I've seen someone who sacrificed his parents.

It's been a year. Isn't it true that my wife and I died together?