Origin Game from Prehistoric Times

Wow, does anyone see this?

Overall, it's pretty good. It has many elements, such as orthopedics, transformation, women's clothing, rebirth, and popular elements from Goodfellas. You have integrated them all. Because there are so many fusions, it depends on the strength of the control. It is a test of writing skills. Anyway, I can't do it. In addition, the first person is not easy to write well One of the bad points is the shooting of the vulture... This horse riding is so awesome that I can remember it word for word... There is nothing wrong, but I just want to complain about a few words The pace is too slow The self-introduction at the beginning, death, rebirth, laughter... Are relatively ordinary and have no special features. It is not recommended to use a whole page to describe the character of the protagonist. The character of the protagonist can be enriched later. The cheat bar is also a bit unclear, but this is your setting. Maybe you want to slowly explain the system or cheat's abilities as the plot progresses. But this also leads to insufficient suspense, and book lovers will easily abandon the book In the first three chapters, there is no useful information. To put it bluntly, there is nothing interesting for book friends to continue reading Another suggestion is why the scholarly sister likes the loser brother... This logic must be set well, otherwise it will easily collapse at the end of your writing.

It feels full of imagination and creativity. It's a very good book.

Come on, keep updating every day.

Come on, I'm from the group. Remember to correct some awkward sentences.