Cards from Another World: Survival on the Island Begins

The plot is too long, with a lot of unnecessary words and plots, and over-description of the character's psychological activities. The character's growth and labeling need to be shown in the plot, rather than the text forcing him to say biu, he has grown up. The progress of the plot is very low, and I missed three golden chapters.

The writing is pretty good, the small scenes are OK, and the creative ideas are barely there But! Why do the stories you write feel so chronological? When I read your book, it feels like I was reading physical novels in the 2000s. Your book was released late, so you should compete with those authors for the market. Domesticated monkey, female monkey. Domestic white tiger, female. Cultivate human form and fall in love. Find the cliff cave, find the treasure left by the sect leader, and take over as the leader of the sect. The love and hatred of the master's previous generation. This is the end of the story in the world of cultivation, about urban love.

I came here specially to see you, and I am satisfied to see you become a eunuch

I just want to know what the use of roommates in the first chapter is

As of Chapter 141 The last few chapters seem a bit twisted, author . It can be seen that the author wants to show the readers the changes in the pig's feet. I feel that it is better to show it through the plot. There is another question: almost after the mandrill left the mountain, the pig's feet were inherited. There are almost 20 chapters so far, and I have been writing about the protagonist's training. What about mandrills, mountain boars and anacondas? ! What about the white tiger and the little monkey? ! What about island exploration? ! Of course, this is because the plot narrative is not well distributed. So far, I don't find it poisonous, and it is quite smooth. I am only expressing my personal views on the book. If you think my views are unreasonable, just think of me as a brainless troll.

Can they wear each other? It's useless in the early stage and useless in the later stage. Xiu Xian is even more discerning!

The writing is okay. A person's survival game is also interesting, just like survival in the wilderness. There are also cards, and the plot is very logical. Are all these netizens so impetuous now? I can't even read this kind of writing. I wish I could finish the first and second chapters of the hero's book, Invincible, and finish reading a book in 2 seconds.

When I read Chapter 6 of Volume 2, I was speechless. A woman who has been with you from birth to death for more than a year is not as good as a neighbor who is just a familiar stranger. And as I mentioned before, I saw her medical record. Is she sick or something else? I have to think about a woman who is obviously seriously ill. Bai Mei has such a good relationship with you, and I don't know what to write about. As for your previous good feelings, was your nearly two years of survival on a deserted island in vain? It's not like he's never seen a woman before, he acts as if he's never seen a woman before, and he can't forget about her.

The modern chapter makes the island chapter look like a joke

The writing of collecting monkeys is really bad. I don't know what I'm worried about. Stockholm has already appeared. This is not enough. I directly let the system descend and create a subduing function. By the way, the system has also been transformed. In the beginning, the protagonist has to explore all functions by himself. Now, I have directly told the protagonist all the benefits of the subduing function. Can't you go slower? At worst, what if the monkey is cured and runs away, its home is gone, and then it comes back and slowly gets in touch with the protagonist? If you don't know how to write about emotional changes, it would be better for the protagonist to capture Meng Huo seven times than to cheat directly. It doesn't necessarily require a good relationship between the two of them to advance the plot. Now when the time comes to conquer the cheating, will it be written as a savior who sacrifices his life? When the protagonist was trying to survive on a deserted island a few days ago, his progress was extremely slow and he didn't look at you in a hurry.

Not to mention how good the author's writing is, the general direction is wrong. The readers selected by the novel title are all rushing to survive on the card island. Later, in "Mu Lingzhu Cultivation", you just discouraged readers. After looking at the table of contents, it seems that it will become an urban novel in the future. Aren't you wrong? Does the author have no outline? The main theme is very biased.

I still can't understand what you're writing in the second volume. Look at the title of your book. Even before the name change, the title is obviously a novel about cultivating immortals. And the first volume is also obviously a novel about spiritual cultivation, although it has some embarrassing romance mixed in. Then the end of the first volume gives people an overly modern feel, and then the Celestial Master enters Kyushu. As a prelude to the exciting article, you ended up writing dozens of chapters in the second volume (I couldn't stand it after reading more than twenty chapters). Shengsheng turned a starting point of a male cultivating immortality into a romance novel about the arrival of the Dragon King in the city. It is an inexplicable love. I can't understand where this basic feeling comes from. There is always a feeling that I suddenly fall in love and want to die. In the end, from the title of the book to the first volume, you filtered us down to readers who read spiritual novels. Now it suddenly turns into a romance novel. Can you tell me whether the next subscription will increase or decrease? Otherwise, I really can't understand your thoughts.

Has the author changed? The two are completely different genres. I don't know what the author was thinking. After writing and writing, it turned into a modern urban novel. I drew a picture of a different world, but in the end I still didn't leave the island. I feel like I really deceived the readers 😅

Before Chapter 58, it was a desert island survival with a small cheat. After Chapter 58, harvest spiritual beasts, inherit them, and start cultivating immortality. Recorded on 2023.10.8.

At first, I bought a coconut from Meituanyou. At first I started to think that I could break it open. Then I took out a kitchen knife and tried to split it. After splitting it for a long time, I took a washed awl to cut it open.

What level of Madonna is this? The monkey has collapsed the protagonist's only shelter, but the protagonist feels that his core interests have not been harmed and cannot harm the monkey... The author is not a senior animal protection, right? !

Teacher Nanshan Beiyan, I suggest you write a novel about the Ice Age directly, a full-length novel, instead of writing a short short film like before in the simulator, because other stories after that will not be good. Once you have written about this topic, it will take your novel career a step further.

First of all, the book is good to read. Don't try to clean yourself up. A traitor is just looking for money and kills people to seize treasures. What is he doing to clean up his reputation? It's so disgusting and he's still kneeling down. Master, please do something. Fuck, disgusting. If you can't handle the complexity of human nature well, you should write less. It almost poisoned me. I even only had a one-sided relationship with that Taoist priest. What kind of feelings do I have to pay back my master's wife? Bah.

The book is very interesting, but survival in the early stages is a bit slow. The book-based game is also fun. From having nothing to building a home and finding a partner, it is better to take it slow. Later, "Cultivation to Immortality" is also a good article about cultivating immortality with a golden finger.

After reading it, your pace is too slow. That's not to say that farming is not possible, but the title of your book is obviously in a combat style. As a result, you are preparing the first volume of pure farming. You are filtering the readers on your own. . .

There is no need to read this book since we returned to modern times. It is a waste of time.

I could barely watch it when I was surviving on a desert island, but the chapters after returning to Earth were too exaggerated.

It was well written before, about growing up on a desert island, and suddenly she became a beast mother. You wrote about slowly experiencing and developing feelings and then doing that. What kind of obscenity you have is really disgusting.

I had a question when I saw the beginning. After talking about the fish card, why would it still rot without oxygen and bacteria?

Can you convert fire🔥 into cards?

I really like this type of writing, but it's a pity there are so few

I came here from the previous book and went to the first store 😁

As for people, I won't write this anymore. Still changed my number.

Why haven't you written it yet? Why don't you study it carefully?

Stitch monster? Currently there are "wilderness survival", "card system", "cultivation", "fantasy" and "martial arts elements", what else will follow?