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As someone who has been there, let me give you some advice.
Let's talk about the most basic issues first: The first one is the use of punctuation marks, commas and periods, and sentence segmentation according to the tone. You'd better read it silently when you write and adjust it well, otherwise it will easily degrade the reading experience. Secondly, it is better to describe the text and sentences more smoothly, so that people can read smoothly, just like how we usually talk and communicate. The third point is natural paragraphs. I took a look and found that your natural paragraphs paused too much, as if one paragraph talked about one thing or aspect, and then the connection between paragraphs was a bit scattered, as if the reader just wanted to read in, and you talked about another thing in the next paragraph, and the train of thought was incoherent. You have to go with the flow and come to another point. After talking about the basics of writing, let's talk about the skills: It is recommended to change the introduction first, or to discourage punctuation, without commas and periods. Then it's best not to include sentences like "Can the protagonist discover the mastermind behind the scenes and stop his plan?" Because it seems a bit childish. Everyone knows that this is the main plot, and you will definitely be able to defeat him, and it won't end like when I write pure literature, where the villain wins. About the chapter break, it is too short. You will cut off the next chapter before the reader can read it slowly. The chapter break is suitable for 2,000 to 4,000. Each chapter should not contain too much content and information, and the plot will be slowly laid out. In terms of plot telling, writing cannot be too subjective. You are not writing stream-of-consciousness literature. The content needs to follow the author. You need to use an objective perspective to tell the story clearly. While being objective, the "camera" of the plot is best fixed on the protagonist. I suggest you look for videos to learn how to write the three golden chapters, how to write a good beginning, and make it seem as if the reader is very familiar with the protagonist. That's pretty much all I can think of.
I felt good after reading the title of the book, and left immediately after reading the introduction.