I Use Long Aotian's Inner Thoughts to Win Over the Entire Palace

In the three years since Emperor Wu ascended the throne, his greatest pleasure has been pampering beauties. His harem is filled with three thousand lovely women, and simply looking at them each day delights him. Then one day, Emperor Wu suddenly notices that Consort Jing no longer lovingly brings soup to his study, and Noble Lady Yu no longer dances in the imperial garden to catch his eye. The palace lamps are put out early every night, yet the consorts still look radiant and healthy. It leaves him feeling strangely unsettled. When he orders the chief eunuch to investigate, they discover that things started going awry with a little palace maid... One day, she runs into Consort Jing admiring flowers in the imperial garden. She gives her a wicked smile and, steeling herself, recites the assigned line: “Woman, I knew you were just trying to get my attention. I spotted you over there at a glance, right beside that palace maid.” The line is painfully cringeworthy, but Consort Jing raises an eyebrow and waves her hand. “You amuse me. Take her back to the palace as my personal maid.” Late that night, she catches Noble Lady Yu dancing. The little maid sets down her candle and drops into the splits on the spot. “Woman, if you can't match my skills, don't push yourself. Your punishment is to buy me a meal.” Noble Lady Yu wipes her tears with a handkerchief. With reddened eyes, she helps her up. “You're right. A man who doesn't value himself is like rotten cabbage. Come with me. I'll cover your meals from now on!” When she overhears someone plotting to poison the Empress, the little maid rushes outside the palace and blurts out a line straight from a domineering hero's playbook. “If you want to hurt her, you'll have to get past me first!” The Empress keeps her well fed and well cared for at Jinxiu Palace. A few days later, though, the sisters who can't stand one another all show up, clamoring for the little maid to be handed over. Only then does the Empress realize that this little maid has been living off the generosity of the whole harem?