Attack Them

After reading Chapter 45, the descriptions of the heroines are very heart-warming, but the descriptions of the male protagonist seem to be very few, so it is difficult to put into the male protagonist's perspective. From the current point of view, the male protagonist has both parents died, his sister is sick, he is a student, he is stunningly handsome, has excellent grades, is gentle, sensible and considerate to others. It's good, but it's also empty. People have their own desires, selfishness, and goals. Have your own personality, way of doing things, and three views. Have a life of your own. I suggest you describe more about the male protagonist's life and add some psychological description, which would be better.

How should I put it? There is no need to say that the author's writing style is good. Many people are praising this in the comment area. I believe that 99% of the people on the rankings are not as good as your writing style But there is a serious problem. The writing style is pretentious, maybe it cannot be said to be pretentious, it should be said that the writing style is too delicate, but it gives people a feeling of being petty. Anyway, I personally feel that it is very strange, making people feel very reluctant to let go, and there is no sense of substitution. Maybe no one will say anything about you if you write traditional literature. But you are writing an online article, and what the Internet article wants is a sense of enjoyment and immersion. Readers are not here to read your writing. The author can look at how Jiangnan, Yannan, Jiaojie or other Central Plains Five Youths handle this. Their writing style is delicate and delicate, but only when necessary, and not too exaggerated. Your writing style is similar to showing off your skills, and it is still cute from time to time while showing off your skills. If you don't want to change, maybe it would be better to go to a female channel. No, maybe even female videos can't bear it. Male videos are not suitable for your style. It does not mean that writing about multiple women or having a handsome male protagonist will bring you a sense of satisfaction. To sum up the previous points, in the end, you still need to give people a sense of substitution and refreshment. And what is the sense of refreshment? The sense of satisfaction is to show off one's holiness in front of others. Oh, to put it nicely, it means to show one's holiness in front of others, but in layman's terms, it means to show off. Everyone is complaining about Xiaobai's writing, but Xiaobai's writing is still popular. Why is this? Because Xiaobai's pretentious writing is so good. People read online texts to relax, not for evaluation But your plots, such as the part about the female CEO and the part about the gangster, are pretentious and conventional, but as long as they are well written, they can still be outstanding. Unfortunately, your handling is not very good. It is suppressed first and then promoted, but it is not promoted. Come on, it gives people a feeling of a hasty ending, and there is a sense of promoting the plot for the sake of advancing the plot, so those two plots that should have made people feel happy actually made people a little depressed and uncomfortable. Psychological activities, foreshadowing, explosions, wouldn't it be better to use your skills in writing details on these? For example, Jiangnan, I forgot which paragraph I wrote, "The Lion Hidden in the Eyes," describes the ambition and unyieldingness of a down-and-out young man in a simple sentence. He does not need more detailed descriptions, nor does he need a more ostentatious tone. This sentence has also been quoted by many writers, so much so that many readers complained that the lions were almost extinct. The last one is as good in writing as you, but has bad book reviews. I remember the latest one is Zhulong Yizuo, but his problem is the plot. As for yours, your plot has not been advanced yet, and I haven't seen anything yet, but you are stricter than him. Seriously, at least there is nothing wrong with his writing style. He writes about exotic beasts and can still make people feel immersed. But your protagonist is a human, so the immersion is not as good as him. I really need to reflect on this. Is it because I pay too much attention to the writing style and ignore other things. Writing can only add the finishing touch, but no matter how good your eyes are, what's the use if you don't draw the dragon well? If you continue to write like this, you will not be able to retain your popularity. Either you will end up becoming a niche and stillborn, or you will keep generating energy for love and finally give up. After taking a look at the picture, I also found that your book has been recommended, but the increase in collections has not increased much. You should have discovered this. If you write like this, you may not be recommended in the second round. Of course, if you want to persist or there is someone behind it, then treat it as my fart. That's it. I just wanted to mention it but ended up turning into a verbose old woman. After all, it's hard to see a well-written book, and I'm very optimistic about you, so I'll just mention it and say it. If you think it's not good or wrong, you can delete it at will. But I hope that when I come back to read it next time, your book will be a big hit. Best wishes.

Jin Jiaqi must be happy ಥ_ಥ

That's a shame. It's too hasty.

No, it's so well written, do you want to send it?

Farewell, pigeon, just keep writing and book it until it is finished

I absolutely do not believe that new authors are so powerful!

No, the author, the writing is so good, don't be a pigeon.

The subject matter and writing style are very good, but I am a bit worried about whether the author can grasp the harem story. The speed at which the female characters appear seems a bit fast and confusing, and it is easy for logical fallacies to occur. I would like to give you a small suggestion: write multiple female protagonists. Each stage can have one main heroine and one branch heroine. If there are too many heroines at one time, it will be difficult to control, and it will be easy to be hacked or illogical. Of course, the author still has to write according to the outline. Don't change the main plot line and logic at will because of comments (such as mine). Just make a slight change in the writing method (if possible). Come on author.

Does BYD have any new books? Other vests are also fine.

Whose fucking trumpet is this for sure?

You don't know how to pigeon anymore, right?😭

Looking at it now, it doesn't have any bad points, and it's considered a relatively good one. Already invested, don't die 😡

Is the author a girl? The emojis are used very skillfully, and the writing style is also very cute.

It's very interesting. I hope you can keep it up. Good luck, author!