Become an Immortal from the Ninth Peak

Let's make some complaints about the contents of the first thirty chapters, please don't complain, but welcome to discuss 1. The setting of the protagonist's state of mind is inconsistent. He has only experienced one lifetime of hallucinations and has reached the 100th level. The setting of Shui Changdong, who has passed the ninety-fifth level, is that he came out of a mortal sect and wandered all the way. He is used to life and death. The protagonist has only experienced a stable life in modern society for one life. Why should he be more transparent than those who are really struggling? I always feel that the state of mind is like a high-rise building, and experience is the foundation. The reason why Li Huowang and Fang Yuan are determined and immovable is because they have experienced unimaginable pain first, which makes it reasonable. The protagonist is a new person who has traveled through time, and then experienced the illusion of a modern peaceful society. He has some unobvious disabilities. His relatives died, his girlfriend broke up, his father got married for the second time, and then he became transparent, which is very inconsistent. Furthermore, the protagonist's mood is so high, but the motivation for action only comes from not wanting to die in a year, without any substantial pursuit and expectation. This is too empty. If the protagonist's actions are all based on this goal, it will be greatly inconsistent with the mood. 2. The passerby villain has obvious intelligence. For example, in order to show that the little junior sister is talented, the passerby disciples nearby said that they should quickly tell their master to take her into his disciple... First, an ordinary disciple persuaded his master to accept someone else's disciple. For example, Zhang Yunlei persuaded Guo Degang to steal Jiang Kun's disciple... I am afraid this disciple is tired of being in the disciple. Moreover, this disciple himself has to risk offending his master. If this disciple robs his junior sister, what good will it do to him? The resources that originally belonged to him were further reduced. His master paid more attention to the talented junior sister, while he was less and less valued. Only sick people would do this. Then the three elders came to invite the junior sister. They talked about each other. I always had a feeling that the master of the ninth peak was just like the senior brother. He was invisible to others. A few elders dare to come and snatch people away. At least the Peak Master has the confidence to do so in person, right? The junior sister is personally taught by a peak master, and her master is above the Transformation God. If she really goes to another peak, what will she get? It's nothing more than resources, but these elders seduced the junior sister, and none of them promised her a lot of resources. They all said, "Come to me and you can become the elder's direct disciple." The junior sister is afraid that she is crazy. There is a peak master who improperly transfers directly. She worships a god-transformation elder as a teacher, has to bear the infamy of betraying the master, and offends a peak master who is above the god-transformation. 3. Everyone thinks that the Ninth Peak is poor and a waste of talent. There are only four people in one peak and there is a very powerful master. Naturally, there is no need to worry about the skills. How can one be poor? Regardless of the sect's allocation of resources, it shouldn't be difficult for a master with a high level of cultivation to make money. Even if the master can't go out to make money for some reasons, doesn't the master himself cultivate? His own training supplies, weapons, magic pills, and elixirs that he had replaced in the past, and even a little leakage would not be enough to feed the two Qi practitioners and the foundation builder. Their brothers took medicinal baths and used weapons. 4. I read Chapter 30 and found that the author did not describe the appearance at all. The junior sister is "exquisite in appearance", the senior sister is "handsome and beautiful", and even the appearance of the protagonist has no explanation. It is difficult for readers to make intuitive associations, which makes the character unable to stand up at once, so the author directly treats the protagonist as a tool and uses his psychological description to portray the character. It is not bad, but too much will be awkward. Chapter 22 is very Chang Mingming said, "Oh, what a fierce woman." "She didn't even hesitate! Seeing this scene, Xu Qing couldn't help but sigh, this woman..." "When thinking of the beautiful figure in the clouds, two words instantly came to Xu Qing's mind - cold, arrogant, such a person..." It might be better to let the readers feel through these descriptions through the plot or behavior. To define her directly from the perspective of the protagonist, it is difficult for me as a reader to have a clear and profound impression of this character. Character creation is the soul of the novel, and the author can figure out the characters more, design the plot, and make the characters more lively.

I thought it was Su Ming's ninth peak

It's so enjoyable. I watched the fourth update for an hour today. Thank you to the author for your hard work!

The illustration design of the book cover shows the mist-shrouded peaks, like a fairyland! Like! !

Today I rewarded and cast 4 monthly votes

After reading Chapter 1, since the protagonist has two senior brothers and one junior sister, the protagonist is ranked seventh, the junior sister is ranked ninth, and there are two senior brothers who are first and sixth respectively. The article only said that four senior brothers were unknown, so where did Lao Ba go? 🤔

The author seems to have been caught by a magical curse. Whenever the smallest plot does not set up suspense, whenever a character in the book does not answer a sentence in a riddle, the author will immediately lose his mind... It is true that you want to arouse the curiosity of readers, but your hook is too dense and you don't use bait. It can only arouse readers' murderous intentions...

🙂One year golden elixir

The author works hard to update, God will reward those who work hard.

Because you believe it, stick to it! Let's move towards the future together! ! If there is a will, things will turn out to be ruined. A hundred and two Qin passes will eventually belong to Chu. The painstaking efforts will pay off. Three thousand Yue Jia can swallow Wu!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival

Maybe it's borrowed from Mink Street, but it's okay.

Can we book friends work together to bring this book back to life?

I thought it was the ninth peak seeking magic