My Divine Sequence

The book is quite interesting, but it has its share of minor issues. The pacing isn't great; the plot moves too fast. The current 120,000 words of main storyline could easily be expanded to 300,000. Slowing down the pace, adding more filler, psychological descriptions, atmosphere building, and detailed scene descriptions would make it easier for readers, easier to control the plot, and give the…

It's well-written; the only downside is that the protagonist is a simp.

It's visually appealing, but everyone's already extraordinary, yet they're still obsessed with boxing. And despite it being a new trend, a bunch of people have already embarked on that path. The protagonist is F-rank, some are already A-rank, and adding an S or even SS rank would put them nearing the top.

Ah, it's tough being a newbie! If the pace is too slow, nobody will watch in the early stages, and even top players will fail. For the difficult and nightmare aspects, I skipped the combat and went straight to the story. With unlimited saves, completing the game was just a matter of time for the Fourth Calamity.

Several of your posts are just about playing League of Legends. What a load of rubbish! Do you have a cat that wants to see you play League of Legends? Go online and play the game already! This is what you're trying to show off.

The first Deep Blue world had many exciting moments, but they were glossed over, leaving much to the imagination. In contrast, LoL was described extensively, even though readers aren't there for the game itself. It's a mediocre read, neither particularly engaging nor worth discarding.

The plot is quite fast-paced. The initial scenes of the Deep Blue world, with their easy and hard modes, are described in considerable detail, but later they're glossed over. It feels a bit abrupt that the protagonist is trapped in the Spirit World and then escapes; it feels somewhat forced, or perhaps it's foreshadowing, possibly related to the protagonist's father.

Your writing of Deep Blue World isn't even as fluent as your League of Legends writing; I'm speechless.

Author, your writing approach is good, but your writing skills are lacking. After reading more than twenty chapters, the text is fragmented and difficult to read. This subject matter is not something your current writing style can handle. Keep up the good work.

Why don't you write LoL? Seriously, writing a sequence game is a waste of your talent; it's giving me a headache.