My Divine Sequence

The book is quite interesting, but there are a lot of minor problems. The pacing is not good enough, and the plot advances too fast. The main plot of 120,000 words is enough to fill it into 300,000 words. Slow down the pace a little, add more water, add some psychological description, atmosphere, scene details and so on. This way readers won't feel tired, the plot is easy to control, and the novel is full of content. The above are just my personal opinions. I can't say how to improve it, but I still think that if the author wants to become a god, he must learn how the great gods fill in the outline.

It's well written, the only regret is that the main character is a bitch

. . It looks good, but it's extraordinary. It's still obsessed with boxing, and it's obviously a new trend. In the blink of an eye, a lot of people have already started to go. The main character is F level, and there are already people who are A level. If you add S or even SS, it's almost to the top. If there are only a few people, good guys organize a bunch of them, and the strong ones will reach the top. Is this a game that has just started? It's impossible. There is only one protagonist in F level. Edcba is indeed a lot of such deformed structures. Come on, if there are many people, this matter is outrageous before it is exposed. It is impossible for this game to be all members of the organization. The protagonist is a single person. The other independent people have no family and friends, and are all orphans like the protagonist. And are the professions in a game as rubbish as you think? People who have connections in game professions with such attributes do not know that this game has a ranking mechanism. How can it be a game for a few people? That's it. How many people should be ranked? Let's just take each position. Generally speaking, the content of this article is good, but the background is too poor. The author wants to write a story about the protagonist rising from the bottom and changing into a dragon when encountering the storm. But since it is a new trend that can make people rise, how can there be an organization at the top? Every trend has the top, and it must be at the end of the stage. Just like 10 years ago, you may have become the richest man, but now you want to start from scratch. It is impossible to become the richest man. As for the country's intervention, how is it possible? If this kind of extraordinary game is only used by people of the same class, how can ordinary people have any chance? If a country's policy is like this, then how can the protagonist have a chance to grow unless he is invincible at the beginning? If you have read this kind of book, you will know that the protagonist must rely on the country to provoke enemies in the early stage, but if the country is like this, the protagonist simply lies down.

Hey, it's hard for newcomers! The pace is slow, no one is watching in the early stage, and the great masters will die. Difficulties and nightmares, I omit the combat part and go directly to the plot, which can save unlimited files. For the fourth natural disaster, it is only a matter of time to clear the level. If you feel that the world of Deep Blue is not satisfying, the protagonist will become the master of Deep Blue and you will go back and start over. I can do psychological description, environmental description, and combat description! I can write thousands of words in one sentence, but I dare not write! This book has three main lines, the emotional line, the upgrade line, and the world plot. I wrote very compactly, just like a reader said that I wrote 120,000 words, and the average author has to write 300,000 words, but I have written them all, and I am moving forward, and each chapter has enough information. Except for the 20,000 words in lol, I really can't think of any good way to avoid being discovered, make money, and test my abilities. You can only use the lol that everyone knows. Do you want the protagonist to box, drive a racing car, and hunt others to achieve the goal? Everyone has their own preferences for radish and greens. I personally like watching them lol. Don't make blind guesses. The book I refer to is The Feet of a Best Friend, which has twenty-eight worlds, and each world represents a sequence fragment of God. Every world has properties. In addition, let's talk about emotions. . Normal nightmares were written too quickly... As for the normal and nightmare books I wrote, the plot of the game was so tragic that a lot of people would have to curse and say goodbye if they wrote it in detail. Tomorrow, the Dark Blue Volume will end. Next volume, Dominator Invasion.

，， This is how you look.

The first Deep Blue World had many exciting points, but ended up brushing it off and scratching the surface. On the contrary, lol has enough descriptions, and readers are not here to read and write about games. Chicken ribs are tasteless to eat and a pity to throw away.

The plot is quite compact. The plot of the Deep Blue World at the beginning has a lot of descriptions of the easy and difficult modes. The following is just a few strokes to describe it. It feels a bit inexplicable that the protagonist is trapped in the Tuling World and then comes out. It feels a bit far-fetched or it is foreshadowing. Maybe it is related to the protagonist's father. Guan, I just don't feel that it's exciting at the moment. Going to the end of the world and defeating Deep Blue should be a bit exciting, but personally I feel it's very pale and the rhythm is weird. Maybe I watched it too fast. I finished it in one go. In summary, the plot is not bad, at least I personally feel that the plot of Deep Blue World is pretty good. , Gave me an eye-catching feeling, but the fighting scenes basically didn't feel like it, and the characters were a bit thin, such as Takahashi Eiko. To be honest, it continues into the real world (Jiao Jiao). My impression of this character is that of a tool, and then the heroine feels dispensable. It's better to open the game Hajime's Hoshino Yui is responsible for the combat power. The current heroine is a tool and a buff to the protagonist. In summary, there is nothing particularly poisonous and the plot is smooth. The shortcoming is that it is too compact and many descriptions are not written. It feels like a flowing novel and many contradictions are impacting. It is too light and the refreshing point is not obvious.

Your writing on Deep Blue World is not as smooth as yours. I am also convinced.

Author, your writing ideas are good, but your writing skills are still lacking. After reading more than 20 chapters, the text is in a broken shape, which is very uncomfortable to read. This subject matter is not something you can grasp with your current writing style. Keep working hard.

Why don't you write lol? Really, writing a sequence game is a waste of talent. It's too confusing.