Lord of Mysteries: Pilgrimage into the Wilderness

(Friendly communication, neither criticism nor criticism) Thank the author for bringing such a wonderful story, and praise you for your hard work! Many readers feel "obscure" while reading this book, and I feel the same way. In addition to the fact that occult knowledge is vast and difficult to understand, I think there are still many areas for improvement in your writing. Although Chinese does not pay much attention to grammar and can be read thoroughly even with disordered layout, rigid grammatical errors are still an obstacle to writing and reading. I am taking Chapter 21 and Chapter 22 as examples here to select 10 grammatical errors. I hope to discuss and communicate with you, and I also look forward to your next better work. -------------------------------------------------------- (Example 1) Teams of mechanical hearts entered the scene in an orderly manner under the cover of members of the Transcendental Path wearing peripheral skeletons and wearing robes of the Mystician Path. The grammatical error in this passage is that there are two predicate verbs, and two complete sentences are combined in one sentence: 1) The mechanical heart (subject) enters the (predicate) scene (guest) 2) The member (subject) covers (predicate) into Member (Bin) There is no such "clause" in Chinese, it is recommended to split it up: Members of the Transcendent Path wearing peripheral skeletons covered members of the Secret Explorer Path wearing robes, and several Heart of Machine teams entered the scene in an orderly manner. (Example 2) She turned her eyes to a mirror on the left. The occult symbols and gems inlaid on the edge made it serve as a pretty good magic mirror. She traced the tributary of fate up to its source, ending in another layer of misty and thin gray fog. This passage secretly changes the subject three times in a row. It looks like English grammar and the reading experience is not very good. First of all, the subject of the second clause is "mirror", and the object of the first clause is "eyesight". When the two are not unified, omitting the subject will cause the sentence element to be missing (unless adding which before "edge" as a limiting clause to modify "mirror", of course, this cannot be used in Chinese). Secondly, the subject of "Following the tributary of destiny" is "eyesight" rather than "her" or "mirror", and the subject should not be omitted. Suggestions for modification: She turned her gaze to a mirror on the left. The occult symbols and gems inlaid on the edge of the mirror indicated that it was a pretty good magic mirror. Cattleya's eyes followed the tributary of fate up to its source, and saw a layer of misty and thin gray fog at the end. (Example 3) He frowned and shook his left ring finger wrapped in gauze. About five minutes ago, he wiped off half of his fingernail when it was bounced by an industrial spring. But fortunately, this thing is almost designed: its structure is very simple. It is based on a handle with a container that is just big enough to hold a strip of talismans. Every time the capstan is filled, the talisman can be launched in a specific direction at an extremely fast speed. There are many grammatical problems in this paragraph. First of all, "About five minutes ago, he wiped off half of his fingernail when it was bounced by an industrial spring." The subject, predicate and object that the author wants to express should be: his fingernail (subject) was rubbed by the spring (object) (predicate verb). However, in the following "when", the entire sentence "he was bounced by the industrial spring" is used as the time adverbial of the predicate verb "wipe", so there is no object in this sentence! The word "when" should be deleted. Similarly, the word "based on" is also redundant. Suggested modifications: He frowned and shook his left ring finger wrapped in gauze. About five minutes ago, half of his fingernail was wiped off by an industrial spring rebound. But fortunately, this thing has already been designed: its structure is very simple, with a winch and a container for storing charms installed on the handle. When the capstan is fully loaded, it is powerful enough to launch the spell rapidly in a specific direction. (Example 4) Putting the half of the fragment in his pocket, Erlands noticed that a burst of spirituality emerged from under the captain's gloves, suppressing the further integration of this extraordinary characteristic with matter, thereby preventing it from showing further abnormalities. The problem with this paragraph is that the subject is missing and the structure is confusing. The first clause "Put the half of the fragment in your hand into your pocket" lacks the subject "captain" corresponding to the predicate "put", resulting in semantic ambiguity. In fact, this paragraph is three independent sentences, and the semantics can be summarized as follows: 1) The captain (subject) puts the fragment (predicated object) into the pocket (adverbial); 2) Spirituality (subject) suppresses (predicate) extraordinary characteristics (object); 3) Spirituality (subject) prevents (predicate) abnormality (object). The first clause should be used as an adverbial of time, and the following two clauses should be turned into a complex sentence: When the captain put half of the fragment in his pocket, Erlands noticed a burst of spirituality emerging from under his gloves. This spiritual force suppresses the fusion of extraordinary characteristics and matter, preventing further/possible anomalies from occurring. (Example 5) He looked around. They were all gates tightly bound by chains. There might be a layer of lead on the inside, making it impossible for prying eyes to see through. The subjects of the two clauses in this passage are the objects of the previous clause. We divide it into 4 independent subject, predicate and object clauses, and the semantic summary is: 1) He looked around; 2) Surrounded by doors; 3) There is lead on the inner layer of (the door); 4) The peeping eye cannot see through (the door) The subject can be omitted in this case, but frequent omission will result in incomplete sentence components, unless where/which/that is added before each clause. It should be modified appropriately: He looked around, surrounded by gates tightly bound by chains. Since the inner layer of the door may contain lead, even prying eyes cannot see through it. (Example 6) Facing the previous test machine, a clock hanging directly opposite him was turning the engraved hands. It was now half past four in the afternoon, and it would be exactly five o'clock half an hour later. It takes about twenty minutes to walk from the church to the academy. If you are familiar with the road, fifteen minutes is enough. Considering that you may need to re-plan your route to get out of here, it is best to start quickly. This passage contains scene description, factual inference and psychological description. The subject and narrative perspective are constantly changing, and the semantic meaning is very trivial. First of all, in the first clause, "facing the previous testing machine" is an adverbial component that modifies the predicate "rotation"; "a hanging directly opposite him" is an attributive component that modifies the subject "clock". The normal word order should be: a clock hanging directly opposite him is turning the engraved hands towards the previous test machine - it can be seen that the meaning of the sentence is very complicated. Secondly, the second clause "It is now half past four in the afternoon, and it will be exactly five o'clock in half an hour" secretly changes the narrative perspective, suddenly changing from a third-person scene description to a first-person perspective, which is not conducive to semantic cohesion. Finally, the third clause "It's better to leave quickly" was secretly changed to the second person, and the subject became "I" or "you" in the heart. This way of writing only applies to special contexts and is not recommended. It is recommended to add a subject to make the perspective change softer: There was a clock hanging in front of the previous test machine, and the engraved hands were pointing to half past four. It was exactly five o'clock in half an hour. Erlands thought that it would take about twenty minutes to walk from the church to the academy. If he was familiar with the road, fifteen minutes would be enough. I may have to re-plan my route when I go out, so I'd better start quickly... (Example 7) Stepping out of the room without stopping, Erlands walked out of the first corner here and met Ou Tuo standing behind. There are also semantic errors in this sentence. First of all, "no longer staying" cannot be used as an adverbial to modify the verb "step", but can only exist as a complex sentence, such as: He took a step to leave the room and no longer stayed. Secondly, since "corner" is preceded by the attributive "here", it indicates that "corner" is attached to the preceding "room" and cannot be used as a location in the sentence alone. The following "behind" can only refer to "behind the room" rather than "behind the corner", causing ambiguity. Suggest a modification: Elands stepped out of the room and stopped staying. After he turned the first corner, he met Ou Tuo standing in front. (Example 8) The expression behind the captain's sharp eyes can no longer be seen "Those eyes" here is a semantic duplication, and the word "those eyes" should be deleted. (Example 9) This kind of staircase, which is impossible to build in reality, makes it impossible for people in a three-dimensional space to walk out. The meaning of this sentence is easy to understand, but there is a problem with the expression. First of all, "in three-dimensional space" cannot be used as an attributive to directly modify "person". It is too abstract. It is better to add modifiers such as "person living in three-dimensional space" and "person in three-dimensional space". Secondly, "nothing" is generally used as an adverb. It is very reluctant to use "nothing" as a predicate verb here to express "it is impossible for people to walk out". It is recommended to write: This kind of staircase that is impossible to build in reality can make people never have the possibility of walking out/cannot walk out in a three-dimensional space. (Example 10) All spiritual creatures seem to be subject to an invisible rule and cannot impart too much knowledge about the potion in advance. Only when you obtain this ticket can you gain more knowledge that they generously bestow. This paragraph still has missing sentence elements and inconsistent narrative perspectives. First, let's look at the clause "You cannot teach too much knowledge about potions in advance". The bug in this sentence is that the subject and the second object are not clear. Normally it should be: (spiritual creature-subject) cannot teach too much knowledge about the potion (direct object) in advance (to someone-indirect object). "Spiritual beings" and "to someone" are not here! Able! Province! Slightly! Of! Because once the subject is omitted, the object "rule" of the previous sentence will steal the position of the subject and become: the rule (subject) cannot (auxiliary verb) teach (predicate verb) knowledge (direct object) to someone (indirect object), the "wrong" godhood ceremony belongs to yes. The second is the sentence "Only when you get this ticket". Since it is the conditional adverbial of the next sentence, I suggest that "when..." And "when... After" should not be omitted. In addition, the sudden change from the third person "spiritual world creature" to the second person "you" in the previous sentence is too blunt. It is recommended to modify: All spirit world creatures seem to be subject to an invisible rule: they cannot teach people too much knowledge contained in potions in advance. Only after people reach a higher realm and obtain this ticket can they obtain more knowledge that they generously bestow. --------------------------------------------------------

I think the protagonist's achievements should at least exceed those of Hermes. Created a new mystical system.

This chapter is Nietzsche's home turf. The author cleverly transforms the horrifying reality of "Game of the Gods" and "The Approaching Doom" into a symbol of nihilism, and directly puts Nietzsche on it, using Superman philosophy to disenchant the author. The perfect integration of ancient knowledge setting and plot is amazing! However, this is only the first layer. In fact, the appearance of this chapter is not unexpected. The character of the playwright has already hinted at his support for Superman's ideas in many previous appearances. At this time, it is difficult to distinguish whether Nietzsche is a mysterious existence embodied in the old knowledge system or a personality disguise of the playwright in the protagonist's inner world. This is why the protagonist will directly transform into a playwright after waking up. Nietzsche's philosophy of Superman also said that everyone will fall, and their new understanding is that their fall is for the transcendence of the later Superman, so they should be ecstatic about their fall. Images of ecstasy and fall also appear in the original text. The image of the wilderness coincides with the wilderness of knowledge, and it also planted some uneasiness in my heart. After all, if the appearance of the image of Nietzsche represents the old knowledge system, it will undoubtedly confirm the vow they made with Yan Daoyi before - rider, hurry up. To some extent, this is undoubtedly an excellent comparison of "Game of the Gods". And if the image of Nietzsche is just a symbolic evolution of the protagonist's inner playwright role, it also means that the protagonist's mental state has deteriorated again.

Sm of O really lived up to my expectations for Mystery 2, and Pilgrimage to the Wild, as the orthodox Mystery sequel in my mind, was completed with a lot of things that could be expanded upon and written about. As a mystery fan, when O is so bad now, I really feel sorry for the short length of Pilgrimage to the Wilderness, so I really hope that Hokma can come back to continue writing 😆. I have already thought about the outline. The second part will feature Sheard, who has no memory of Erlands, as the protagonist. With the help of "Grandpa" Serge, he will gradually be promoted and contribute to the fight against the doomsday. In the early stage, it follows the wilderness pilgrimage, and Shield investigates the truth of the Trier incident; in the middle period, he awakens the Blue and Black Magi (Elands) and finds a way to restore his memory; in the later period, it tells about Shield's promotion and preparation to fight against the doomsday and the alien gods. Threads that can be interspersed: taking the Minor Arcana card from the Justice/cooperating with the Tarot Society; the establishment of the Curly Baboon Research Society and organizing the excavation of Freemasonry; the changes in the world situation; the current situation of Moss Trappist Order and Godar; the preparation and hymn of mankind facing the end of the world; the rewriting of Lo Mein... In short, here is the online prayer for the continuation of the Wilderness Pilgrimage 😭

The refugees from Suhuan are here. I don't have to compare, but the attitude of this fanfic from a year ago is much more thoughtful than that of Squid and Suhuan. Squid should also read more high-quality fan fiction and learn how to write a solid sequel.

Since the ring is really rubbish, I unilaterally declare that this is the genuine Best Friends 2

It's a bit emotional. The protagonist who looks so calm and almost cold on the outside contains quite deep pain in his heart. But for the sake of pilgrimage and the pursuit of endless truth, he still chose to defect and faced off with his former teammates without hesitation. I am even more looking forward to the development of the plot in the future...

The characters in Ring of Destiny really left me speechless, and the plot was unattractive Before Squid didn't have his whole life, this book was the second orthodox mystery book in my mind.

It is the best among mystery novels and is even comparable to the original work. Although the level is slightly lowered due to the too fast pace and incomplete squid settings, it is still a very good novel. There is a faint scent of absinthe in the text. Thank you to the author for bringing us a feast of occultism and pilgrims.

A very short fan work, but it's better than a long and useless sequel

This book starts at the end of April and will most likely be completed in August. The progress exceeds that of most connected mysterious fans, making it the fastest to complete this book.

Complaints, Ideas, Suggestions and Expectations Floor This floor is mainly for you to explain your own ideas, expectations for future plots, complaints and suggestions on existing content, or any other speeches related to this book. What a cold building... Put a crow that Erlands saw when he fainted.

When I saw the protagonist accidentally killing the old lady, I had to lament that the protagonist was still too rational and even conceited. If it were Xiao Ke, he would divine first and then make a decision. Of course, maybe this is not just due to personality, but also to the advantages and disadvantages of the paths, because the spiritual intuition of the diviner can remind Xiao Ke, alas.

I came here because of the recommendation after reading it. The most common feeling during the completion process is that you are a bit too extreme. Jpg The plot and atmosphere rendering are the strongest among the mysterious fan fictions I have seen so far 👍. Erlands, Shield, Goldar, Sage, and even the other characters in the original work are all made of flesh and blood (other characters are flesh and blood in the literal sense), and all aspects are thin.

Reading this book in one breath is like waking up from a dream full of images and watching an old friend go away. The pain, struggle and pursuit are all a lump in one's throat, but one feels slightly comforted by the romance at the end, so one has to pretend to pay tribute through other people's mouths. An old alchemist comforted his apprentice: "No matter how isolated you are, no matter how lonely you feel, if you sincerely and conscientiously devote yourself to your quest, unknown friends will come to find you." During the pilgrimage in the wilderness, he searched for the decisive question and met countless people at the same time, but the fate of those who died did not disappear because of him, and would only rest for one summer. "What we see are fleeting flowers, but the roots remain."

Brother, at your level, please write another book 😍

Is there another one? It's really unpleasant to abuse the main character. The main character is a bastard who has no investment.

I read a few chapters and thought it was well written. The author also knows something about Western mysticism? This mysterious fanfic is written differently from others. It doesn't enter the mysterious plot so quickly. Compared with other mysterious fanfics, the first few chapters are more of my own style.

I'm really looking forward to how Xiao Ke will face the male protagonist after he recovers. Doesn't Xiao Ke know the bad things Qishen did before? The angels you sit on are not necessarily clean. Do you follow your own justice and kindness, or are you allies and friends?

2022.4.30 - 2022.8.10, In less than four months, I would like to call this book the fastest legend

Wow, it can be said to be one of the best works of mystery fan fiction I have ever read. The author has embodied the struggle and despair of the mystery world very well. I like this work very much (ง •̀_•́)ง

This is my second book. In my eyes, this book is the strongest among the mystery sequels There are some spoilers below, but not much This book inherits the sense of urgency at the bottom of the mystery world and the ruthlessness of the world. It has the protagonist's transition from humanity to divinity, and his personal destiny is wrapped up in the world. The innovative point is that it introduces a lot of theology, religion, and mysticism knowledge (so some parts are confusing and the author seems to be a bit pretentious), praising the great blue and black sages for recreating the culture of the old era into the world. The supporting character Xiaolong is very cute, although his cute personality has other reasons. Furthermore, this book has both abuse and reunion. Although the protagonist has a relatively painful growth, due to his genius anchor, it is quite enjoyable to upgrade in the later stages, and the feeling of madness is not that heavy. The ending is a more classic "Heading to the Stars and Sea" HE. Limited by the length and the tight character of the protagonist, who has not experienced many events and has a small circle of friends, I personally think this book is suitable for reading quickly.

When I am in college I will open a 1.2 Million Mystery fanfic I have already thought of the name "Mystery: The Sex Witch" I would like to state solemnly that I will write it in a serious way. Also, Lao Huo opens a new book 🙂

The second book by the author of Squatting, by the way, please ask for similar mysterious fan fiction.

Why does Klein judge the protagonist? The night pretends to be weak and guides Fusac to attack Loen, Zhenzao Yawu, Bloody Sacrifice, and crazy believers killed so many people. Russell opened the waterway and started the colonization of the southern continent. Why didn't he mention that they also bear the pain of the curse in the final trial?

Are you still publishing books? Teacher, don't quit the literary world! ?

How does the protagonist summarize the hermit's complete godhood ceremony from the six-dot ellipsis?

In such a harsh environment, writing novels is still an option.

And you my friend, you are the hidden sage😰

The protagonist is one of the more miserable protagonists in fan fiction, and most authors abuse the protagonist.