A Corporate Drone at S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Sir, Tony Stark is back.”

“Have Coulson make contact.”

“Sir, Stark has been staying home and farming every day lately.”

Nick Fury: ?

“Sir, a hammer fell in New Mexico, and nobody can lift it.”

“Have Coulson take a look.”

“Sir, Director Coulson picked up the hammer and knocked out a lunatic who claimed to be the God of Thunder.”

Nick Fury: ??

“Sir, Captain’s awake, but he’s in a terrible state of mind.”

“Have Coulson go talk with him.”

“Sir, Captain has already earned his doctorate. They say his inventions and research could be in the running for this year’s Nobel Prize.”

Nick Fury: ???

Years later, after being beaten to a pulp, Thanos stares in shock at the man before him. “Who are you? Why are you so strong?”

Coulson: “Me? I’m just an office worker at S.H.I.E.L.D.”