Overturning Every Villain, Starting with Pan Jinlian

Years later, as he lay near death, Wuyang County’s richest man and owner of the Great Song Football Club, Wu Dalang, looked back on his life. His eyes brimmed with tears of happiness and gratitude to Heaven.

He was glad that, during his brief life, he had met a woman named Pan Jinlian, who had ushered him into the golden age of his life. Thanks to her, his name would be revered by men for generations to come.

Whether it was the sweetness of her smile or the saltiness of her tears, it was that feeling he missed most.

Years later, when the Bodhisattva Guanyin looked back on arranging the journey to the West for the master and his disciples, she burst into tears: “Were they being tested, or was I being put through the wringer? Buddha, there are some things we need to clear up!”

Years later, when Lady White Snake recalled how she had attained immortality, she gazed down upon the mortal world and sighed: “Without Fahai, I would never have become who I am today. Brother Hai is selfless and fair, and deserves the respect of both mortals and immortals! Honestly, Brother Hai is a pretty good guy. If only he weren’t so indifferent to women…”

Years later…

Years after countless people had lived through their own lives, Zhou Mingyuan told a reporter: “The main reason I became the richest man in the world is that I’ve always worked hard…”

(A friendly warning: this is a nonsensical comedy, so if that’s not your thing, proceed with caution. Hahaha.)