Fengyunxianyu

Brother, The scenario setting in Chapter 2 conflicts with the story. Shuoshuo Village is located in a hidden place. Since outsiders are looking for Old Man Wang, they naturally come prepared and have the target in mind! Asking about that part, the villain was deceived and became interested in a naked child for no reason. At the same time, it also made the protagonist look particularly useless. The entire atmosphere was greatly affected. When the villain comes, the protagonist panics. The villain is mysterious and suddenly takes out a portrait and asks him. The protagonist glances at it and looks very familiar. It turns out to be a younger version of his grandfather. He can't help but be cautious and worried. He thinks about it and points the wrong way. He hurries home and explains the situation to his grandfather. The old man seems to be stuck in memories. Or thinking, he just explained to him. Although the protagonist was anxious, he could not disobey his grandfather's arrangement. He didn't know if those people would come here. If he had known it, he would have told them that the person in the portrait died or moved out of Screw Village... The sense of urgency came out immediately, and then the story continued, and the story became stunned. In addition, if there is too much foreshadowing and invalid paragraphs and information, you can completely delete it to highlight the story and quickly cut to the protagonist's growth line. Foreshadowing is also foreshadowing, and it also lays out clues for the protagonist, where he may go after encountering a crisis, or a means of counterattack... It is not the warmth of a mountain village, which is not very attractive. I'm worried that if you are like this, the protagonist's growth line will be delayed by at least five or six chapters. As a qualified online writer, this is a taboo. Welcome to exchange and learn😄

This is a collection and investment. You can read Chapters 2 and 3. Chapter 4 has a very depressing atmosphere, but there are ways to solve it. At the end, I write directly that one year has passed, allowing the protagonist to grow up faster. At the same time, it describes that the western desert was not found, but he encountered danger while wandering. At this time, the third-rate doctor appears. Don't write him as a particularly kind person. You can write him as indifferent. The reason why he saves the protagonist is just to test the Fenghan Pill he invented. He doesn't want to be such a burden to the protagonist at all, because he is not good at medical skills. Not only is it difficult to support himself, but he is also ridiculed and chased by others. Anyway, he is a poor and miserable character. But the protagonist heard that he was a medical practitioner. He thought that he could find a place for himself and practice what he had gained from studying medical skills for a year, so he begged the third-rate doctor to take him in. At first, the third-rate doctor refused and was disgusted, but the protagonist proposed that he had medical skills and could help him treat patients and save people. The first-rate doctor didn't believe it at all, and the protagonist repeatedly said that he could try it. The third-rate doctor remembered that there happened to be a poor family who had no money to find a good doctor and begged him to see a doctor. In his eyes, it was a terminal illness with no cure at all, so he prepared to take the protagonist to see that family's illness, hoping to make the protagonist quit and get rid of him. At this time, it was the protagonist's turn. He cured the terminal illness on the spot, and slapped the third-rate doctor in the face with his backhand to impress him. At the same time, because of the medical accident, this third-rate doctor caused a powerful family to come to him to settle accounts, humiliating and beating Hou. Of course, it was the kind that forced him to go to a dead end. The protagonist stood up and said that he could go and have a look. This third-rate doctor regarded the protagonist as the last straw and knelt and licked him desperately. The protagonist goes back to settle the medical accident, obtains the tribute of a third-rate doctor, and at the same time expands his reputation. Isn't this 🤭 more exciting and the story exciting? Come on💪

The first chapter is about persuading people to resign! Don't eat after noon, don't light the lamp at night. To highlight this weird point, I don't need your lengthy explanation. Start the story from this weird point, describing how the lamplighter is different, yet unpopular, but at ease with himself... If you make up a ghost story that fits the fairy tale, it will be 10,000 times better than your weird theories and strategies. Look at the posture of reading more than ten thousand books, who cares? If you insist on writing, let readers see how the protagonist uses strategies and conspiracies to show off! It's not like the author is pretending to be a reader through the protagonist! Stop writing and start constructing the story. The more you write, the more time is wasted and the direction is wrong!

The character Wu Chuxue is very vivid. If you see it in person, it will appear in reality. Now it feels very interesting, come on brother💪

Qizi, very well written. If the subsequent stories are of this level, you can become a god 🤭

Brother, I have re-opened the book and changed its title to "The Road to Immortality". How about you help me palm my eyes? Oh, if you want to vote next time, vote for my new book.

I think your story can create a fantasy story about a doctor who becomes a god. As long as you cure diseases and save people, you can gain power and so on. I will study the introduction of the system and the characters' time travel. Once this line is completed, it will be very promising. I dare not say anything else, but I guarantee that there will be no problem if I sign the contract Actually, I have another problem myself. I know that the routines are popular, but I always like to create character lines in a unique way. It is also an exercise in exploration. Just read and think more and find a style that suits you.

In fact, after I read your book, the biggest problem is that in the construction of the story, the logic is not clear, the focus is not highlighted, and the protagonist's goals and demands are not clear. There is a problem with your book. In the previous chapter, a group of people encountered a baby floating in the sea and rescued it. (Note that in addition to the description of characters and environment, you only get one sentence of the story.) This requires considering whether the existence of the previous chapter is necessary. If it is closely connected with the subsequent story, there is no need to set it as a previous chapter (in fact, it is taboo to use the previous chapter to explain the foreshadowing and story background when writing a book). If your story is based on the previous chapter, then please explore the remaining value of the previous chapter - the smoothness and extension of the previous chapter by the subsequent story. I can't read your second chapter! ! Suddenly, I feel that the wind, horse and cattle are irrelevant. You probably want to say that Yang Yun is practicing! The key thing is that your perspective is blurred and you can't find the perspective you want to bring in. The best way is to build a bridge. Tell a meaningful story, or look at the world directly from Yang Yun's first perspective. I don't know what you think. Little Yang Yun, who was 11 to 15 years old, came to a big river. The fast water occasionally hit the waves on the reef. He jumped into the river and walked through the water like a fish. Today is the day when he goes to the third master to learn swordsmanship. In his memory, he learned astrology from the first master, water movement from the second master, swordsmanship from the third master, and medical science from the fourth master. This is what he should do and what he must do every day. He seemed to be a piece of wood with no pain or emotion, and no awareness of fatigue. At least his four masters must have thought so, otherwise they would not have allowed him to still wear the bronze man while he was crying, and still read scriptures when he was extremely sleepy. He heard from four masters that he was an extraordinary son of destiny. Haha, to be honest, he didn't think it was such an extraordinary thing. Instead, I felt very strange about these masters. They seemed to know each other, but they pretended not to know each other. One lived on a cliff, one lived in a fast river, and one lived in a gloomy mountain forest. These three masters are relatively normal and live in a lush bamboo forest. But the training of these three masters is the most terrifying! From time to time, Yang Yun jumped out of the river. I came to a small wooden house and changed into dry clothes, and walked towards the third master... I am just providing some ideas, you can think more about it yourself.