Virtual Realm Investigator

After reading dozens of chapters, I can accept the problems you mentioned in the first two chapters. After all, it is to make the protagonist's rapid upgrade reasonable, and to lay some foreshadowing and set up suspense. However, I am more concerned about another issue, which is the combat power setting in the world view: the extraordinary combat power in this world seems really weak and unbalanced. The weak performance is that the first two battles, A-B and A-A+, should be said to be relatively high-end matches. The results are very unexpressive and do not show any strong or strange abilities. The B-level ranger (a rogue profession) can't even sense the spirit. He is even defenseless against the spirit. He dies without using any skills. I guess this is the case. The purpose of writing is to highlight the power of the protagonist. Let's take a look at the protagonist. He mainly uses black cat spirit sneak attacks and cat group bites to control opponents, and uses notes to kill. The problem is: after he returns to E level, he still has these two similar abilities - black cat and cat group. There is only a quantitative change from E to A, and there is no richer means at all, making readers lose expectations for upgrading. As for the A+ hunter... I can only say that her perception ability is quite worthy of her professional name. Apart from that, she only has good car driving and good fighting skills. Is this the A+ ability in this world... The level is too low, and low magic is not that low. Even the low-sequence battle in Lord of Mysteries (Volume 1 Chapter 123, Dunn's team sneak attack on Triss, does not exceed Sequence 7) is far better than these two Another problem is the imbalance, which refers to the imbalance between the individual's own ability and the ability of props. Combat power relies too much on props, and props have no price. The most intuitive example is the opening battle. The A-level containment object is the Death Note that kills people in 40 seconds. Let's look at the abilities of the two A and A+ people later... It's weird that one book can beat them all.

Now that I have read Chapter 5 of The Rat in the Wall, I really can't help but want to say a few words. The career setting written by the author is quite attractive to me, but when I read the first five chapters, I fell silent. The author doesn't seem to know how to arouse readers' interest in reading. To be honest, there is no logical problem with this beginning, but there are no outstanding highlights. I think for an online novel, a mediocre beginning is a failure. Next, I would like to talk about this beginning in detail. First of all, the plot. The first event described in this book, "Amusement Park Trading", can be said to be very boring. I think such a story can be written in at least three ways. First, design a wonderful action scene at the beginning like an action movie. After all, both the protagonist and Katniss have abilities, and Katniss is still a hunter. Second, you can write in a horror direction. In this paragraph, the unexpected change of the contact partner and the other party's plot can be used as a point to push the horror atmosphere to a climax. For example, write like this: "During the transaction, the protagonist suddenly felt his heart numb or his body getting colder. At this time, Canis opposite showed a cruel smile on his face." I think this sudden sense of horror should be very attractive. Third, what the author writes is similar to a static game or duel. In fact, we readers all know that the protagonist will definitely win in the end, so the focus is on how the protagonist fights back. However, the writing here is a bit abrupt and mediocre. It can be completely foreshadowed, for example, "The protagonist tore a page from a book on the way here." The most exciting game I have ever seen is the famous "Yan Shuangying: There are no bullets in your gun." If the author here could write half as well as someone else, then the beginning of this book should at least be upgraded to a higher level.

In terms of writing style and setting, it's pretty good, and there are no obvious logical loopholes. However, there are really big problems at the beginning. Some personal opinions, why did you write this book? If you just want to write a book that you want to write, there is nothing to say. If you consider grades and income, then this beginning is completely unqualified. It's not so many years ago anymore. The family makes decisions for the protagonist, and the setting of passively starting from scratch and deleting memories is a poisonous point that will dissuade most people. Maybe you have thought a lot and have deep foreshadowing, and it will be very exciting to expand the world view later. But why should others look at it? I can understand that this is to establish a staged main line, which can continuously promote the development of the plot and help start the climax. However, the popularity of Abuse Master articles has faded. Even if it is Ergen's book back then, the results will definitely not be that good now, especially if you are still a newbie on this site. I can't change it, I've written so much. But I hope the author will work hard on his next book. As a non-comic-style work, even if it is to establish a dark and oppressive world view, it must not lose the character of the protagonist. The foundation of wanting to advance and then suppressing is to have a certain height. Without establishing the protagonist and the entire world, it is really difficult for people to read directly from the suppression. Even if you really lose all your power, it will be much better and even more attractive if you preserve the memory through some kind of backhand. At the same time, the sister's act of causing the protagonist to lose his memory did not achieve the effect that the sister said, to live a stable life. In other words, she could not do it at all, so her act of causing the protagonist to lose his memory completely lost its foothold and starting point. The first consequence of amnesia is to be forced to sell the cafe. Even without this plot, it wouldn't be so ugly. The entire plot of amnesia has lost its most basic meaning, and it makes sense for an ordinary cafe owner to be asked for help and involved in the incident after a while. From a reader's perspective, we read books for entertainment. In life, we have experienced a lot of others trying to make decisions for you. Multiple factors affect us and we have to act according to other people's ideas. When this kind of behavior appears in the works we use for entertainment, it will definitely cause disgust. Sometimes writing cannot only be based on the author's ideas. What is written is for others to see. What I write is an online novel, not a story about picking up flowers in the morning and evening. It's rare to say so much, and I look forward to the author's next work. (Now that the Internet is so developed, there are too many interesting books, and the problem at the beginning will cause a large number of people, including me, to give up directly.)

Sanzhang persuaded him to quit. If he couldn't stand such a plot, he had to be beaten from being a great person to a loser, and then climb up from a loser bit by bit? Or is it your only relative who beats you to pieces and says nothing for your own good? It's boring and I can't stand it

If I were the male protagonist, the first thing I would do when I regained my memory would be to kill his sister. If nothing else, the male protagonist had no amnesia. At least Chen Xiangxue, a B-level martial artist, would not have been skinned and made into a doll. Incidents such as the invasion of the Sheath God would not have forced the male protagonist to almost die. The funniest thing is that he finally got rid of the "White Emperor's Walk" before losing his memory. Such an act would be taken seriously by others.

It is recommended to at least indirectly describe the psychology of the protagonist and his sister... Otherwise it will always feel incomprehensible and even a little disgusting. If you really want to keep the protagonist away from the investigators, at least give him a new look, pack him up and send him away. What the hell kind of operation is it to just beat him half to death, cure him of amnesia, and then leave him there? This is not equivalent to telling an explorer who has already sailed out to sea that it is too dangerous to leave. Then he was crippled and lost his memory in the middle of the ocean. The sailors on the ship ran away when they saw this, leaving him with a compass missing and no memory of how to sail the ship. He looked at the sea with a confused face... This is more dangerous than before!

According to your way of writing, it would be better to just dismantle the first three pictures and throw them behind and use the method of recalling them. Now I only see that the abilities and memories of the protagonist whose life is intertwined with strange events have been deleted and they are called good to the protagonist. No matter how you look at it, it looks like a psychopath's plan to take revenge. Playing the protagonist to death... There are also chapters 789. He died inexplicably, lived again inexplicably, and lost the only money inexplicably. He woke up in the hospital and was rescued by someone unknown. The opponent inexplicably thought he was dead. Your description is too stream of consciousness...

When I saw Chapter 4, I couldn't help but browse the comment area. The author really thought it would be better to leave the content of the first two chapters behind. After reading the first chapter, I thought the setting and everything were pretty good, but in the second chapter I almost choked to death. In the third and fourth chapters, I found that the protagonist was beaten in vain.

The sense of deus ex machina is very strong. In the forced start, he was beaten by Tiansheng's own sister until he lost his memory. He also suffered an attack that would be fatal to ordinary people. The reason for the attack was to treat the protagonist's fantasy impotence? In the end, the impotence was cured, but the protagonist's family was ruined because the sister from heaven beat the protagonist into useless things, and the heroine was transformed into a containment-level doll (infertile). So is this a work about the treatment of infertility? This deus ex machina's sister "doing it for your own good" directly caused family members to die. If the story is to be rounded out, will the deus ex machina have to be used again? (Confusion) After reading the free chapter and reading the content in the comment area, I no longer dare to order.

This book was also very successful. Many people came back and wrote a lot of suggestions before abandoning the book. I feel that the author wrote the plot too hard. Even if the book becomes famous in the future and many people read it, it may not be able to survive the first seven chapters 🙂

No wonder no one read it, I was told to quit after four or five chapters, it's such a clichéd beginning.

Let's go back to the pit and continue to start Keyboard Warrior. What I want to say is a more refreshing question. I have seen the protagonist's first encounter with Xiamu, and I saw the author describing the protagonist's attitude towards Xiamu like this: "In view of the fact that Xiamu dared to kidnap Lu Cheng's lover, Lu Cheng had already filled out a death notice for him in his heart. Single. The real God of Death does not send out notices, he always sends death notices directly." My first reaction when I saw this was to read back the plot, and then I found that Xiamu was not dead, and it seemed to be handled in the same way as Shana - fell into the sea and ran away. I can understand the author's emphasis on supporting characters. It's not easy to portray flesh-and-blood characters, and you also have to consider the issue of ambush, but the way of letting the tiger go back to the mountains and then continuing to disgust the protagonist personally feels very un-fictional. Internet articles can accept very complex backgrounds and entangled main lines. The story of "Grass Snake Gray Thread Faultless Thousands of Miles" is well written and can make people talk about it, but the small plot and small copy of the Internet article do not support such repeated entanglements. When the plot reaches Xiamu, I think it ends very cleanly and happily in Mozhen. Although it leaves a small tail for the subsequent plot, the dungeon itself ends very cleanly. Other plots such as Ge Pei Liao and Shana all have regrets of one kind or another. It doesn't matter once or twice, but if the protagonist fails to do his best every time, it will make people feel uncomfortable. If this book is compared to Mystery, I think this book is more realistic than Mystery. The author's writing skills are stronger. The disadvantage is that it is not enough for online writing. It is obvious that the secret plot ends very cleanly. (The copy I'm talking about is not a whole volume of mystery, but a small plot that makes up a volume. If it were a whole volume, it would be like the descendants of the evil god in the first volume living until the second volume)

，，，，，， Readers should be from God's perspective, but now many readers do not read the author's explanations in the comment area, and cannot understand some nodes at all. There is also this protagonist who is too respectful to some lower-class people, and it does not fit in with the protagonist setting of the online novel at all. Of course everyone has different personality traits, this is just my personal opinion. However, the author's setting for the protagonist is to be particularly respectful to lower-level people such as Yilong (toast cigarettes and toasts), and to have a particularly arrogant feeling towards upper-level people and peers, which is very confusing. Also, the protagonist sometimes goes on missions and although he loses his memory after three chapters, the other members of his team do not lose their memory, right? Didn't their team have follow-up plans such as follow-up support during previous missions? Many things cannot be blamed on amnesia. There are many places in his team that require rigorous setting by the author. The last little suggestion is that since the protagonist is a businessman, from what I have seen so far, the protagonist has done at least several things that are not in line with the nature of a profiteer. Craftsman Xiao Wang keeps saying in a narration tone that the protagonist is a particularly treacherous businessman. Detective Keng Liu also portrayed the character very well when he stretched out his fingers. However, after the death of the mechanical craftsman Gloria, he would rather give up the customized 100-dollar brain cylinder. This is not in line with the character and habits of the businessman Magnet. I hope the author will change some settings and I believe the results will be better. Finally, I wish the author a great sale of his works

That's almost it. The third golden chapter is poorly written.

Since the protagonist has chosen the path of an investigator, the person who may be his biological sister has not yet returned the protagonist's memory and does not understand what this operation is.

The first two chapters explain a lot of things, but the effect of the explanation is really not very good. The world view and the like can be expressed through narration, at least to give the reader a basic understanding of the basics, and the character motivations can also be explained with appropriate psychological descriptions. The most taboo thing about writing novels is to make the readers unclear, even if they make guesses, there is no information to support them. The character's behavior must be clearly described. The female protagonist looked like she was going to kill the protagonist. Why wasn't it told at the beginning that the memory was to be sealed, and then the protagonist struggled to resist because he wanted to know the cause of his mother's death, and then was suppressed by Lin. After the suppression, he sighed a few words, "The road ahead is dangerous, I will bear it alone. I hope you can be safe and be an ordinary person." This way, when we watch it, the impression will be much better, and no one will wish that the character you created will die early. Of course, if your purpose in writing her is to make readers hate you, you've definitely succeeded.

Updated at 8 o'clock every night, one chapter for now, 4,000 more chapters, until 2 million words

I am a novel reader and have been a book reader for 20 years. I only read the first chapter and a few quick glances afterward. Because I feel that this article has great potential but the author did not handle it well, I am posting my opinion here. Potential means that the author has a good story and characters in mind. Poor handling refers to writing problems. This post only talks about the writing method and not the story. Things like amnesia and so on belong to the story. I didn't see it. And I think any plot can be written well. Nowadays, many protagonists have lost their memory, and some have had their memories tampered with. Writing issues: Remember that when writing a novel with a protagonist, the perspective should be placed in front of the protagonist's eyes or chest, that is, to look at the problem from the protagonist's perspective. Occasionally writing about other people doesn't count. In other words, the author needs to see the world through the eyes of the protagonist. The perspective of some authors is placed 20 meters above the head of the protagonist, which already makes people feel uncomfortable to take in, such as "The Secret: Starting from the Reader". The perspective of the author of this article is outside the book, which always makes people feel like they are reading a book rather than experiencing a world. To be honest, I have never seen such a difficult perspective in 15 years. (No, I only saw it once when I was commenting on a new article by a newbie friend. She is a pure newbie, and she has not read many novels. So I guess the author has not read many novels, no more than 100.) Come on! So, you shouldn't write any story background introduction at the beginning. You should directly write that the protagonist came to the amusement park. Look at the state of the amusement park through the protagonist's glasses, and think about the development of the amusement park from the protagonist's mind (if it is necessary to write it, actually I don't think it is necessary to write history at the beginning). If I were to write, I would write like this: Think about what the protagonist thinks about after entering the amusement park, and directly write about the protagonist's thoughts and actions. I think this book has great potential. Such a small monthly subscription does not match the excitement of the story. The reason is that the writing method is too problematic, so I subscribed to a chapter and left a message. The author can read more well-written novels, such as "Lord of Mysteries", "Infinite Horror", "My Healing Game", etc. Learn how to write. In fact, the story is the most difficult thing to think about, and the writing method is very advanced. Come on＾0＾~

The previous plot was really poorly handled. I personally feel that the placement of the first chapter is wrong. It might be better to start the story directly after the amnesia, and slowly introduce the plot before the amnesia later than it is now. Personal opinion, don't spray if you don't like it🤝🤝

I somewhat disagree with the point made by the guy from Jiajin, so I can't help but say a few words: 1.30% Of the players probably have amnesia, which makes it hard to watch, the opening is not well written, the plot is a bit old-fashioned, or the readers have stereotypes 2. The construction of the entire ability system and the construction of the world view is not attractive enough and cannot give readers enough imagination 1 No. 2 If it is possible, the author with poor results can still keep writing and can pick up later. For example, in the book "The Sky Patrol", the plot and system are first-class in the later part, and there is a sense of history, and it will pick up later The essence feels that it is a problem of 2 reasons. It is evident that a book with a garbage plot like Mechanical Alchemist has so many readers because of its setting and grand world view.

It comes from a delusional mind. It's a pity that even if the Taoism is too high, it would be an eunuch. This book is also an eunuch.

The slow-burning book gradually gets better, and the outrageous beginning actually comes full circle at the end.

The setting is interesting, and it's outrageous that there are so few people.

This book is obviously very interesting, so why are there so few reviews?

The spirit-bound black cat turns out to be just a C-level spiritual object? The protagonist at the beginning is an A-level investigator. When dealing with Lin Yang, the spirit-bound black cat is dead and he can only use a pistol. What's going on? Doesn't the protagonist have any other spiritual objects in his hand? Even his B-level investigator Chen Xiangxue has a B-level sword, right?

I feel like I should be getting a lunch box tomorrow, right?

The title can be an introduction or the characters can be, but there are some issues with the times, and the plot is slow to pick up steam. As long as you don't read the comment section first, I think you can continue reading it.

The setting and writing are actually good, and the flavor is there, but I feel a little lacking in experience in planning and layout. There are indeed better ways to deal with several controversial points. You can do some thinking about improvements, but you don't need to be too obsessed with negative comments. Come on!

A good book, written by a real veteran author, the writing is excellent

Are the Qing Emperor and the White Emperor the Duke of the East and the Queen Mother of the West?