A Dreamland Above the Water Polo

Fish. The heroine and the hero

The first one is the original cover, and the second one is the map. This is a world map of water polo. You may not be able to tell, but there is more land than water on the water polo. Among them, except for the Demon Realm and the Land of Judgment, they are all the territory of the Kingdom of Dreams. The area between the Demon Realm and the Land of Judgment, although it does not belong to the Kingdom of Dreams, has been developed into a special tourist route by businessmen. The demons, however, did not dare to act rashly due to the Judgment Land on the other side. The border of the Demon Realm is heavily guarded by the Demon Clan, a remnant of the war with the Kingdom of Dreams. All demons live in the demon realm. The power of the Land of Judgment is complex and the space is unstable, so almost no one exists, and only some followers of the Judge live in it. The boundaries here are naturally drawn, and the place where people would be in danger is the territory of the Land of Judgment. Finally, let's talk about the basic settings. The technology tree of Water Polo is similar to that of Earth, but instead of being powered by electricity on Earth, it is powered by magic on Water Polo. And they also went to space before, but because of the great threats on this planet, they finally shelved it.

That's probably it. Let's wait until it's fixed later.

When I saw magic and school, I naturally thought of Harry Potter. I remember reading a similar book by an author. I generally don't comment on plot issues, because every author has his own ideas, but when I saw a row of drainage, I cried and laughed at the same time. In terms of characterization, the movements, language, etc. Are all clear and there are no major problems. Attention: Segmentation! A short paragraph of three to five sentences will give people a fresh feeling. If it is too long, some readers will not be able to read it, or they will scan it hastily, and it will not be easy to see the advantages of your writing. (This is usually raised when I see a long paragraph.) Come on⊙▽⊙

Let's talk about the shortcomings first First of all, telling things that are beyond the scope of the story without completing the structure of the story background: specific examples are the male protagonist entering the dreamland of others (anyway, I found it quite confusing and quite uncomfortable); demon enemies are lurking in the school, but the principal and teacher have never mentioned the existence of this possibility, etc. Secondly, the text is a bit immature (you can say that it is a novice), the writing is a bit stiff and not smooth enough, and sometimes the descriptions even seem abrupt, interrupting my reading process, which is very funny. Thirdly, the characters still need to be polished and processed. The personality is not clear. Mr. Xuan is also really mysterious. There are no clues to find (seeing that he knows a lot now, there is a similar pendant). This does not make the character mysterious or attractive. I just think: What is this? Weird, confusing, half-assed. Advantages, the more eye-catching advantages, are the structure of the world background, which is mysterious, beautiful, full of charm, has a certain amount of blank space and time, and has an attraction that makes readers want to explore That's it.

All future paintings will be placed in this post. The first one is the character design of Ling Yukong, it's a bit rushed so it's a bit sketchy The second one is the male protagonist's design (adult version), I really can't draw children. The areas blacked out are due to spoilers. Please forgive me if the painting is not good