Lame Duck

From the past to the present, due to congenital reasons, family reasons, etc. I have always had low self-esteem, so I didn't have much desire. When I was in love, I was afraid of losing you, but I didn't have much desire to get you. I just muddle along, and then I really lost you. . . When faced with an important decision in life, I did not stick to my own desires. I listened to what others said. Later, I became exhausted and persisted but was decadent, but this was just a futile struggle. I hate myself for not sticking to my desires.