Failure Will Lead to Calamity

Come on, some of the sentences are not very smooth to read.

Beautiful writing, compact plot, good

Can I sign a contract? (*´｀*)

Come on, I've read four chapters. Read it yourself before posting. The intensity of the plot and the emotions of the characters cannot be understood by readers with just a few symbols. Use more descriptions.

The overall framework is good, and the writing style is also good. It would be better to check it before uploading so that you can check for omissions. Please do your best.

The structure of the world background framework is great, and the writing is also good, but the details need to be strengthened.

The first chapter is so well written, why don't you show me this second chapter? (It's better to be gentle when swearing)

1. You say he is a fairy. Three chapters have passed. Where is the fairy? Where is the hero? 2. The picture is too messy, and the entire dialogue has no sense of immersion at all! 3. The scene jump is too abrupt. Is what appears in Chapter 3 considered a golden finger? 4. The first three chapters enter the theme too slowly, and the plot is too delayed, without the flavor of a fairy tale.

1. The title of the book is okay, but the big introduction is a bit too casual. The title and introduction are the first impressions readers have of a book. It is recommended to change the introduction to make it more readable and attract readers first. 2. The plot is also a slow-burn type. The plot development in the first chapter is a bit confusing and not very clear. 3. From a visual inspection, the first few chapters are also slow-burning. The world view should be slowly expanded and filled in, and the rhythm should be grasped. 4. The writing is too colloquial. Don't be too white, or use too many punctuation marks, which will affect reading. It is best not to use facial expressions. This is a novel, not animation or animation, and it can easily cause drama. Since it is an ancient setting, it is necessary to describe the taste. Overall, it's quite relaxed and humorous, thank you very much

At the beginning, there were typos and language errors, which was really a bit confusing. For experienced bookworms, it is really difficult to persist.

Come on, come on, the writing is great 😆😆😆

You really need to pay attention to punctuation marks⚠️otherwise it will be easy to discourage readers

Although it is an online text, the use of text and punctuation should be more formal.

The bookshelf has been added, please share your encouragement. 😁

Same as the third year of high school, let's hold hands first. You... You have to find a tone that suits you, find a clear main line. If you think it is slow, then take it slow. Write the slow heat well. The point is that I don't think it is slow. On the contrary, some irrelevant plots take up a lot of space. You said that even spitting is foreshadowing, so I will wait and see. However, most of your dialogues or complaints have nothing to do with the writing. Instead, they crowd out the environment and psychological description and worldview structure, which is very uneconomical. Also, your emojis should be replaced with ~ - this is not a matter of irregularity, but that you drag them out alive just as the readers are about to enter the situation... Oh, don't worry about whether anyone will read it, just write it first and that's it. (You clearly said at the beginning that you just wanted to write, so it doesn't matter whether anyone reads it.) If you are worried about not being popular, you can add more water and advertise.

Come on, I should read it a few more times after I finish writing it.