The Shadow of Mortal Heaven

Not bad for chasing shots. Come on, stop being a eunuch.

Come on (ง •̀_•́)ง

Damn it, damn it, your investment has increased so much in the blink of an eye, I'm so happy, brothers 😂😂😂

The writing is delicate and well written, keep up the good work

There are more than 30,000 website shorts. It's amazing. I'll collect it and learn from it first.

This avatar is really good, the content is very interesting, looking forward to the update

Collected, read slowly, keep updating, welcome to visit again!

First, character creation. From a personal perspective, the character of the protagonist at the beginning is not very likable. When he suddenly appeared in a strange and extremely scary place, fear should have been born, and then his fear was used to guide the development of the plot. The person he met later with a bloody hole should also be fear. The fear was mixed with curiosity and pity, and various emotions converged, triggering a higher level of fear. Then, under fear, he accidentally killed someone, and then used the plot, self-treatment, etc. To make the protagonist accept the reality, instead of killing people in a rage and naturally. At least I think this is a bit toxic. Second, the map setting. As for the start, let me first explain the specific appearance of the map. There are just a bunch of coffins, and then there are geese killing people and dismembering the corpses. The question is, have you explained how the people who were dismembered came from? Like the edge of a valley? It suddenly appeared, and then suddenly fell into pieces. Then the person who recited the incantation, you didn't even give a description, he just appeared and recited the incantation. At least describe it at the beginning, with these people standing next to the coffin ready to dig out the heart, so that the reader can be prepared, otherwise it will look confusing. After all, you haven't formed a picture for the reader. Thirdly, regarding cheats and realms, I personally feel that there is no foreshadowing at the beginning, and then a lot of nouns belonging to this world are introduced. It seems to be quite difficult and confusing for readers. I personally think it is better to first clarify the role of cheats through the protagonist, and it is better to have a foreshadowing. At least I think when cheats appear and are used later, they are still confused. After that, it is not good for you to come up with a bunch of realms in Chapter 6. Personally, I feel that the best realm is to release and hide first. First, let the readers know a little bit about the realm of the early plot, and then wait for the protagonist to reach the corresponding realm before unlocking the subsequent realms. Of course, some unnecessary and unimportant realms will be briefly mentioned. There is no need to describe them too clearly. Focus on describing the important realms. The overall impression is that the writing is online and the plot is smooth. I suggest you use more words to describe the appearance and personality of the protagonist. Goldfinger will spend a little time writing it, and that's it. Inexperienced readers will actually have a hard time reading your book, and the foreshadowing and explanation are much simpler.

Come on, great book, love it

Congratulations to the author for changing the status ∩__∩

Brothers, please feel free to invest, the contract standards have been met, the contract has been sent, and you are waiting for the signing. 😏😏😏 (As the Internet article is as deep as the sea, 5000 per day since then➕)😏😏

Build a building that sprays air to the sky and the ground, and brothers can fight at will 😏😏😏😏