You Are My Master Brother

Potential seedlings, equal fertilizer 😍

The writing is wonderful, keep up the good work＾0＾~

Let me start with the introduction, which is too old-fashioned and has been published for ten years. My impression is almost the same. The style was from 2008 to 2012. I remember there was a book called "Dragon Domain" and something about flying knives. I don't know if readers still like this style. Secondly, reading on mobile phone is too uncomfortable. It is almost a paragraph per page, and the text is densely packed. It is recommended to separate the paragraphs into several sentences, so that at least it will be comfortable to read. Finally, the beginning is a little shaky, I would like to put in more practical information, and the plot will be advanced in it. The three golden chapters are not well written. The editor will feel uncomfortable when the time comes, and it is unlikely that he will apply for a contract later. After all, editors have to deal with a lot of authors, so this is no better than throwing out twenty of a hundred resumes! The first impression was bad, and so were the resources given later!

Come on💪Persistence is victory, collected

Very well written, keep it up! 😊By the way, writing a book in the first person seems a bit awkward😁

The idea is great. It has been collected. I hope to visit again and receive "The Daily Struggle of Salted Fish" 😁

It's the first time I've seen an online book developed from the perspective of the first personality. It feels a bit special. I hope the author will continue to work hard!

It is difficult to create a sense of immersion when writing in the first person. If the online article is divided into multiple sections, it will be tiring to read. Overall, there are not many mistakes. The author will continue to work hard and update.

It's a thread

Come on, you will succeed, believe in yourself.

Come on, everyone's writing style is different, so I won't comment too much 🤝

I would like to give you some suggestions. The language can be more refined. I read it a bit like a junior high school student writing a diary. The plot can be slightly arranged to make it tighter and tighter. Some paragraphs are still too long. You don't need to worry about the paragraphs in online articles, as long as they are comfortable to read. Work hard

The writing is very good, thank you very much!

Come on, persistence is victory✌