Xuanming World

With such an update speed, I really don't want to read this book.

The description of the environment and settings are okay, but the description of the characters and typos can be slightly modified. In addition, after the protagonist's village was massacred, the emotional expression was not very appropriate. When there are no other characters present, it is best not to show any expressions on his face, as it will appear insincere. Grief should come from the bottom of your heart. There are still some parts of the narrative that are not perfect. For example, when "touched your head", did you touch your own head, or did you touch the head of the little girl next to you? But overall the description of the environment is quite amazing, good, keep it up.

The introduction is quite charming and attractive. Come on, keep an eye on you

I came across your comment from Writer's Assistant, so I'll give you a brief introduction. The narrative is too long-winded and there are too many descriptions of the environment. It reminds readers to enter the plot as early as possible and expose the cheats, so that readers have the desire to continue reading. The introduction is too fancy. Make a simple, clear and straightforward introduction to let people know what you want to write about this book. Don't choose this kind of book title. New writers don't have the right to choose book titles. How should you choose the title of your book and imitate the signing list? (One final point: start the next paragraph after a period, and the number of words in each paragraph should not be too long.)