The Fifth Secret Master

I feel like the subject matter is very good, I'll work on more

The language is rich, the structure is compact, and it is written vividly... (Forgive me for being a student)

Concept map of "Borse" sleeping place (reference picture one)

The names of the protagonists or supporting characters are used too much in the article You can use he, she or other words instead I had a lot of this problem at the beginning, but I am slowly improving it Let's work hard together!

I really like this style of article! ! ! Great writing! Come on come on!

Come on (ง •̀_•́)ง

Come on, come and take a look first. 😊

Come on, you are worthy of your youth, I have accepted it.

Come back for a return visit, come on, and become a god soon!

Your beginning has not yet been developed. I feel a little interesting. I just don't know what you will think later. What elements will you add? This makes me very curious. The writing is good. But there is nothing that is not noticeable. Some foreshadowing should be laid in the early stage. No matter how big or small. Be more obvious. Only in this way can people have the idea to look down. Finally, it cuts off when it is about to be revealed, and then picks up the story after the last few dozen chapters. Otherwise, if you treat me like this, you will leave after just one look.

After reading the beginning, it can be seen that the author has a certain foundation, the story is very smooth, and the writing style is of average quality. Then I put together a few suggestions: 1. In the thirty-first century, it is really difficult to control future-oriented fantasy novels. I hope the author can support it with his writing skills. 2. The sense of immersion in the opening chapter is not very strong. It lacks a certain description of the environment and cannot integrate into the atmosphere. 3. As for alluding to reality... It's better not to write too much. After all, it's easy to hit the mark in many places. (The above are all personal suggestions. The author can adopt them as appropriate and discard the bad)

Can you write more? I was originally very interested, but when I saw it was 19 years old, enmm, I was afraid that you would stop updating eunuchs. Can you be more diligent? You write so well!

Already collected, I feel a bit lazy, will it be updated weekly 😊

Let me learn from it and read a few chapters... The male protagonist's words and deeds do not match his thoughts. He thinks like a man and speaks like a female protagonist. Um... Maybe it's just me who feels this way. If it's wrong, please delete it. But we hope we can encourage each other!

The writing style is much better than mine, but like me, I don't like to divide long paragraphs into paragraphs. I heard that it will make me tired.

I think you can add more action descriptions or facial expressions to the dialogue, which can highlight the meaning you want to express from the side and give you a better sense of involvement. The environment is well described and the world view can be expressed in more detail. Come on! Come on! Work together. "Night Walking Shadow" author's comments

I have been writing fantasy for a while, so I would like to give you some advice. This is something many editors often talk about. The first three chapters should have a sense of immersion. It is to make people understand as soon as possible what story you may want to tell, and to be curious about how you will tell it. Of course, the master can do whatever he wants. Come on!

At present, Sanbai is working hard to save the manuscript. For the time being, it will be updated every two days, and it will be updated at 12 noon on even-numbered days!

I learned it. In comparison, my paragraphs are indeed too long. Your story narration is also quite smooth, but it feels a little slow.

Wow, there are so many book reviews 😍 Come on more Please also comment on each other

Waiting for return visits, I come often.

Apply for a contract. Go, go, go! Damn it!

Support support😁

... After reading it for a while, I couldn't understand it at all at the beginning. Maybe my IQ is too low and I don't know what it means. I think you should put the main meaning you want to explain in the introduction or related to the work. Otherwise, it will feel hazy and myopic, and the mind will be confused. The content should be highlighted. I didn't read further, so I can only comment here. The idea is still good, and it is purely a personal opinion. Come on, collected it!

Received, reviewed, closed. A few suggestions: Maybe there were too many things explained in the first chapter, which made me a little confused. Then starting from the second chapter, the overall story started to be very good, and the plot was also quite good. Then, you need to pay a little attention to the dialogue of the characters. When writing, you can put yourself into the character and think about it first. The main thing is... Your writing is really better than mine, and your action words are much better than mine. It feels like I just thought of an action, and then desperately searched for matching words on the Internet, and I feel inferior. (Swallowing Stars - The Rise of Dark Star) Return Visit

It was pretty good after reading the first chapter. I will continue to read it as hard as I can in the future.