Let Me Take Another Look at the Top 16

He is the devil in his own story, but he is always a supporting character in other people's stories. Year after year of hard work, year after year in vain... Should I give up? Or, what is the reason for persistence? It was once so easy to get, could this only become a illusory dream? "Take another look! Let me take another look at this stage that makes me nostalgic." The red face, is it sadness? Is it regret? Or is it deep self-blame?