My Golden Finger Keeps Acting Like an Idiot

As the saying goes, someone else’s thigh may be thick, but your own fingers are yours, however slender they may be.

When Zhang Jianyuan realized she’d ended up forty-some years in the past, she felt a little wistful. Then she discovered she had a golden finger, and her nerves settled.

Zhang Jianyuan (excited): “Can you give me an all-powerful pocket dimension?”

Golden finger: “Nope!”

Zhang Jianyuan (hesitant): “Then... how about a super System that lets me build everything from scratch?”

Golden finger: “No can do!”

Zhang Jianyuan (confused): “Then what can you do?”

Golden finger: “I can make your enemies... well, you know!”

Zhang Jianyuan (shocked): “What?”

Golden finger: “I can make them take a spectacular fall, or step in a really smelly pile of dog shit, and then...”

Zhang Jianyuan (thumping her head against the wall): “Are you just an idiot? What good are these lousy tricks?”

Golden finger: “I...”

Zhang Jianyuan (clenching her fist): “I’ll just rely on myself!”

As another saying goes, if the mountain won’t come to me, I’ll go to the mountain.

When a certain someone realized Zhang Jianyuan was determined to rely on herself, they agonized over it for three days.

Someone: “How about this?”

Zhang Jianyuan: “Huh, a Red Lantern radio? You’ve got some pretty wild connections!”

Someone: “I built it myself!”

Zhang Jianyuan: “So jealous.jpg”

Someone: “What about that one?”

Zhang Jianyuan: “Wow, a Venus 16-inch color TV? That’s incredibly rare! How did you even get the ration coupon for it?”

Someone: “I didn’t. I rode my bike for five hours to the TV factory and told them we’d gone to the countryside to build up the nation, and that we couldn’t get married without a TV. The factory director saw how sincere I was and sold me one straight off the production line. Who needs a ration coupon?”

Zhang Jianyuan: “I really want one too. What should I do?”

Someone: “I’ve realized you’re not suited to be my revolutionary comrade!”

Zhang Jianyuan: “Huh?”

Someone: “Switch sides and become my sweetheart!”