A Confession a Thousand Years Later

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Everyone has different ideas about life and different pursuits of dreams. Often, reality shatters these ideas and dreams. Sometimes, certain events, objects, or even a song can stir your heart, like fallen leaves on a lake, rippling with the water's movement, or like willow catkins drifting in the wind, unsure when the wind will stop and they will find their place to land. A wandering heart, warm sunshine, the sun still shining brightly, illuminating long, restless thoughts and an unsettled heart. Closing your eyes and gazing at the sky, the sunlight shines like red halos, leading you into a space filled with red, an emptiness, a suffocating oppression. The heart that seeks, the obsession within, each drifts for a long time. Chasing time, searching for the lost light. Running around the halo, even running for a thousand years, just to meet you. A thousand years of solitude, a thousand years of waiting, just for one lifetime of encounter.

I heard my heartbeat knocking on the window; there was no surprise, only a stirring of the heart. Warm palms, a reassuring embrace, time stood still as we nestled close. A gentle touch on her hair, a feeling of pure contentment; time flew by, but my heart remained still. The tranquility outside the window, the shimmering light, the anticipation in my heart, the longing for each other in our embrace. I dared not turn around, afraid to stop; the illusion behind the tenderness, real or fake, blurred and indistinct. The loneliness in her eyes, the bitterness in her heart, only she herself truly understood. In this lifetime, who holds on so tightly, and who relinquishes so easily?

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I always like to walk against the wind, under the scorching sun, in the piercing light. I always like to walk against the wind, in the wind, rain, lightning, in the cold and helplessness. I always like to walk against the wind, because at the end of the wind there is always warm spring, always dreams. I run towards my dreams, but reality trips me up, I can neither move forward nor backward, I can only wander back and forth in confusion.