The Mighty Battle Bear

Alexander Caesar, a young bearkin who had enlisted for military service, shouted at the middle-aged female priest at the examination station: “Look, I clearly wrote ‘scout rogue’ in the section for preferred combat role. Why does the assignment sheet say ‘heavy infantry’?” The middle-aged female priest glanced at the two forms. “With your build and weight, what about you looks like a scout rogue? The race column on your form says bear person, not raccoon person. Why are you joining in where you don’t belong?” As she spoke, she pointed at a slight, short ratkin youth standing nearby, barely five feet tall. “Look at him. That’s what a scout rogue looks like! One of you could take the place of five of him!” The ratkin youth said, “Big Bear, I’m innocent!” The bearkin youth Alexander Caesar left the examination station dejectedly. “You’re the raccoon person! Your whole family is made up of raccoon people! Bah! It must be early menopause!” The middle-aged female priest bared her buck teeth. “That little bear cub sure has a loud voice. He spat all over my face! Scout rogue, my ass! Go chop vegetables!” With a wave of her little hand, she wrote down his assignment: battlefield cook!”