Devil Girl Adela

It's okay, but it doesn't look like an online novel. If you continue to write it, you may prefer physical books, which may not be very popular among online articles The first chapter is okay, but the second chapter is a bit strange, one body and two souls or called fine separation. It feels very strange to write it like this, and it doesn't give people this feeling. If you don't write that paragraph, others may think they are two people The rest is okay

First of all, the first point is, too long, too long, too long Writing so many words in one chapter is extremely unfriendly to readers. To be honest, no great author has ever seen so many words in one chapter. If you can code so much in one day, it would be better to publish it in three chapters. The effect will be better Secondly, the main plot is cut too slowly. One chapter is worth three chapters. As a result, I don't want to read anymore and the main plot has not been introduced. The author has not even decided how to write this main plot. It feels like flashbacks and main narratives interspersed. , Giving people a very messy feeling, I personally suggest that it is best to describe it directly The third point is punctuation marks. Adding parentheses can indeed tell at a glance that these are quotation marks, but has the author ever thought about why, after so many years of development, parentheses have not replaced quotation marks and become the new "quotation marks"? Since we already have quotation marks, why do we have to give new meanings to other symbols ourselves? There are also psychological activities, inner dialogues, etc. It can be understood that they are specially prepared to distinguish them in this way because they need to be used frequently. However, the so-called psychological activities can be written in another way. Why use this most basic method? A little attention will be better than this. The fourth point: the writing style problem, the writing style is barely adequate, the environment description is okay, the characters are not three-dimensional enough, and the plot description is weak.

Readers, you can talk more while reading. If you complain about something in the chapter, you can just criticize it if it's not well written. Don't just say it. It feels like I will lose motivation when writing articles on a single machine 😭

Just to make a fuss, let me prove that the author is not playing single-player, 😜 although he may be playing online with me (no one else). I also saw that the author is not planning to charge for the chapter, and I think that in this case, the author should not update a chapter every day, so that it will feel like completing a task 🤫 I recommend the author to update as the situation arises, when he has time, forget about it when he has no time, just treat it as a hobby. Personally, I think it's pretty good. After all, if everyone doesn't write full-time, they feel like they'll stay up very late to complete daily updates. It will kill the passion to continue writing. The above only represents my personal views, any similarity is purely coincidental. 🤫

Try it out and see if it takes a long time to review here.

I posted free chapters and paid chapters all by accident. After all, when I posted new chapters, they defaulted to VIP chapters. Later, they were added to the free chapter, and the content is exactly the same! Don't spend money. I feel bad for you when you spend money (´-ω-`). If you want to spend money, just give me a reward. I won't refuse anyone who comes, hehe.

This is the original Adela character.

Marry? So many girl characters actually told me that they were getting married? Book deleted!

Dear author, is the protagonist single? Or Lily? ?

It's like writing a thesis for three years 😊, it's pretty cool

Can the author ask how the emotional line is set?

I've read over 100 chapters, what should I say? Good books are not popular. . . Male and female protagonist, traditional Western fantasy, adventure genre, non-time travel, light novel style, non-combustible title. . Author, you have really covered all the unpopular topics. 😵 Although in terms of details, it can be seen that you write the characters very seriously and emotionally, but there are too few interesting points and you often abuse the protagonist. After more than 100 chapters, the protagonist seems to be very powerful but has been weak at critical moments, which is not endearing 😅 In fact, I quite like your writing style. I think there is no problem with the writing style. It is a pity that you chose a very unpopular subject from the beginning. . Here is a small suggestion. If you are still interested in writing new Western fantasy books, I suggest you write fan fiction first. Fan fiction has a natural fan base and can accumulate popularity. Several of the authors I admire all started their careers in fan fiction. You can try some traditional Western fantasy fan fiction, such as Lord of the Rings, Ice and Fire, or some more popular themes, such as lord stories and farming stories. Of course, if you only wrote this book out of interest and because you had such a story in your heart, then just pretend I didn't tell you.

The prologue talks about Lady Adela, does this imply that she is married in this book?

Introduction: There is something about this flag that is definitely not an eunuch. The author is probably a girl. Girls are not afraid of eunuchs (funny)

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