The Online Gamer's Guide to Raising a Clumsy Player

This story was originally titled My Wife, Hold Your Fire. It has been revised and reposted with updates! This is a story set against the backdrop of a game. From total newbie to veteran newbie, the heroine uses her terrible gaming skills to trick and mislead all kinds of experts, climbing her way to the top in this light novel. A little snippet: An excited shout came through the YY voice chat: “Quick, quick, quick! Roll to dodge the skill!” Me: “I rolled, I rolled, I rolled... I'm dead?” A helpless voice: “Can't you tell that monster's special attack is a long, straight line?” Me: “I can!” An even more helpless voice: “Then why are you rolling back and forth right in the middle of it?” Me: “But you never told me to roll left or right!” A voice, utterly drained: “...I've always known you had terrible hands, but I never thought you'd be brain-dead too.” Me: “So what if I'm bad at games? Am I proud of it?” A second little snippet: At the edge of a cliff, a few players killed me in just a couple of moves and sneered, “Who gave you the nerve to challenge us when your combat rating is so low?” I lay dead on the ground and started crying about it in the guild chat: “Someone killed me!” A minute later, all kinds of top players with the highest combat ratings on the rankings appeared around my corpse, forming a circle. “The ground's cold. Get up!” I kept playing dead: “They asked who gave me the nerve to challenge them with such a low combat rating!” Three seconds later, a flash of blades and swords, and those players were lying dead beside me... The experts: “We did!” I got up and looked down at the few corpses on the ground, mocking them: “Who gave you the nerve to attack me when your combat rating is higher than mine?”