Hey, Brother, Got Any Fire?

Anor Londo is drowning in debt, and Lordran is mired in a major economic depression. To save Anor Londo from bankruptcy, Dark Sun Gwyndolin becomes everyone’s idol!

Gwyndolin: “In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you!”

Linde: A pretty boy, a monster girl, a little sister, and a magical girl all in one. She was born to be an idol!

King Gwyn is obsessed with anime and games. He’s become a shut-in who neglects state affairs, spending all day holed up in the First Flame and living on food deliveries.

The eldest son of the Sun has run off with the Storm Drake girl to the Archdragon Peak, where they spend all day getting it on.

Artorias and Ciaran went to the Abyss for their honeymoon and still haven’t returned.

Manus is developing the Abyss’s electricity industry at full speed, determined to bring electric lights to the entire Abyss.

Londor, the notorious pyramid scheme organization: Sister Friede was fed up with work, so she threw a tantrum and ran off to the Painted World, never to return. Yuria: Have you seen my sister?

Fire Keeper: What am I supposed to do? The Ashen One I serve is a pervert! Anyone there? I’m in a hurry.