I Have Despaired of This Chaotic World of Demon Modifications

Have you ever encountered an apostle creature parasitized by an alien creature? No? I cut off its head! Have you ever been to Pandora, a planet full of blue-skinned zombies? No? I blew up the whole planet! You have been to too few places, but I have been to them all. Stranger, come, come, come, sit down. Are you willing to listen to my story?