Princess Lonely Soul

I am a "lonely ghost" from the time I came to Nurhachi to the year of Kangxi. I have been longing for death, but I have no control over my destiny. I almost own the world and any man I like, but I cannot have simple happiness. What exactly do I want? What on earth do I long for? From childishness to maturity, I walked step by step, silently looking for my destination.