The Taming of a Poisonous Husband

Empress Wangyue has a daughter who presents herself as a man in public, under the name Jin Yu. With peach-blossom eyes, wherever she goes, noble ladies compete to make her their husband. [The Black Pearl and the Skull] By a twist of fate, Prince Jin Yu acquires a black pearl. When a princess from a neighboring kingdom hears of it, she declares that she wants both the handsome man and the pearl. “Since you like it so much, dare you bet with me?” The princess replies proudly, “Why wouldn’t I dare?” “Now that’s the spirit! If you win, you can have my black pearl. If I win, I want your...” As the princess gazes at her expectantly, Jin Yu continues, “skull.” “Why?!” “I want to use your skull as a bowl!” [The Brain-Dead Bit] “Brain-dead means your mind is full of bloodshed and cruelty,” she says. “That’s why I called you brain-dead.” He nods. “I see. Then you’re brain-dead too. Don’t deny it.” “What did you say?!” “Not only that, your father, mother, third and fourth brothers, and eighth sister are all extremely cruel. Can I assume your whole family is brain-dead?” “Your whole family is brain-dead!” “No, my younger sister is quite kind.” Like Liang Wang of Yun, he has a man in his residence: a breathtakingly beautiful young master, who is also his male favorite. Princesses fear him; princes tremble before him. He looks like a demon and has a heart like a serpent’s. [The Handsome Young Master and the Pretty Widow] In a teahouse, a young master in crimson robes, strikingly beautiful, declares his love to a middle-aged beauty over thirty: “I fell in love with you at first sight. I’d be honored to marry you with a lavish bridal procession. Would you be willing?” Everyone in the teahouse stares in shock. “Young master, why would you do this?” The beautiful woman covers her face and sobs. “You are breathtakingly beautiful, while I am already growing old. I’m not worthy...” The young master smiles. “I’m not someone who judges by appearances.” The woman keeps sobbing. “It’s truly an honor to have caught your eye, but fate is cruel. I was born before you, and now you’re young while I’m old...” The young master grits his teeth. “Age is no problem.” The woman continues to sob. “I’m grateful for your kind intentions, but although my husband has been dead for a long time, I don’t want to marry anyone else...” The young master’s eye twitches. “Dongfang Jinyu, try talking nonsense again, I dare you! What do you mean, I’ve been dead for ages? Take off that hideous skin mask already!” [The Long Hair Reaching the Waist Bit] The moon rises over the willow branches. Lovers meet after dusk. A gentle breeze blows behind the rockery... “When are you going to stop acting so childish? You’re practically asking for a beating!” “The reason I act childish is that no one has kept me in line. If I could marry a princess consort who’d whip me into shape, I’d be very willing to mend my ways.” His voice is as warm as jade, and he speaks at a leisurely pace. “Oh? Have you found the right candidate?” “Two years ago, a woman asked me, ‘When my hair reaches my waist, will you marry me?’” “And then?” “And then...” His gentle voice suddenly rises in volume. “Your hair’s already down to your feet, you idiot! Are you still waiting for it to reach your waist before you keep your promise? Want me to cut it off for you?” In the darkness, a blade flashes... “No, let’s talk this out. Don’t cut my hair!” * This is a one-on-one romance, not a female-dominance or multiple-partner story. Strong male and female leads, devoted to one another, with the occasional weirdo. Hope you don’t mind. Rolling around on the floor, begging for your support~~