The umbrella shop on the corner only opens on stormy nights, yet it does better business than every other shop on the entire street. Every umbrella costs fifteen yuan, and each person can buy exactly one. Customers who buy an umbrella may ask the umbrella maker any three questions. He’s helpful and generous, and always tells customers everything he knows, but one of his three answers will be a lie.
One evening, a chef walked into the shop through the pouring rain. He bought an umbrella and asked the umbrella maker three questions.
Chef: Why did that guy smack your butt?
Umbrella Maker: Anyone can smack my butt.
Chef: ...That last one didn’t count as a question already, did it?
Umbrella Maker:, v, That counts as a question too, you know.
So the chef thought it over, then asked his final question: Will you come with me?
The umbrella maker’s lips curled into a smile. “Of course. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
The umbrella maker was a deeply unlucky person. His flowers never bloomed, his fish never lived, and whenever he polished his shoes, it rained. He was unlucky to the extreme.
The chef, on the other hand, was an incredibly lucky person. If he wanted clear skies, the skies cleared. If he wanted clouds, they gathered. If he wanted thunder, lightning struck the very next second. He was a walking storm.
So the chef told the umbrella maker, “Stay closer to me. Our luck should cancel each other out.”
The umbrella maker smiled sweetly. “Hehehe, really, darling? I’m so touched. Don’t worry, you won’t be by my side forever anyway.”
The chef shot him a glance. “If you need me, I’ll be there for you.”
Later, the umbrella maker was cornered with no way out. Ambushers lay ahead and pursuers were behind him. Every path through the maze was a dead end. He’d sprained an ankle, and the foot that wasn’t sprained had lost its shoe. He had a child on his back, and the child wouldn’t stop crying.
Clutching his innards, the umbrella maker huddled in a corner, closed his eyes, and silently tried his last desperate hope: ...I need you.
He opened his eyes and saw the chef, whose body had been hacked in half.
The chef discovered a string of code in a glitch in the world.
He told the umbrella maker about it. “I think we might be inside a game.”
Umbrella Maker: Oh.
Umbrella Maker: You only just figured that out?
Umbrella Maker: This umbrella shop is the game's tutorial, and I'm the NPC in its first level.
Surviving a great calamity today means it's an auspicious day.
[Chef x Umbrella Maker]
[Cool on the outside, warm inside, quiet, and good at cooking top x Warm on the outside, cold inside, sharp-tongued, and good with umbrellas bottom]
I'll start once I've saved up enough chapters.
I'll revise it a lot more before I start posting.
If lots of people are interested, I'll start this one first, hehe.
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