Can a Pet Fish Be the Top?

Shi Ji is a farmer born in the modern era who is still dirt poor.

The only thing that sets him apart is that he can talk to every furry creature in the world.

"Want to be my dog? I don't keep lazy dogs here. Show up tomorrow to livestream sales, and we'll split the profits fifty-fifty!"

"Want to be my cat? I don't keep lazy cats here, either. Break a bowl and you'll be fined a thousand!"

Shi Ji refuses to be anyone's dog slave or cat slave. His motto is to sing as he rises from serfdom.

Though his household is lively, he's the only human in it. Looking at the four mu of land around his home, Shi Ji grits his teeth and buys a merman at the market.

The merman is covered in blood, barely breathing. Shi Ji buys him because he's cheap, then spends a great deal of effort nursing him back to health.

Look at those muscles! Once he's recovered, he'll be more than strong enough to handle a hoe!

At last, the merman's wounds heal, and he grows a pair of human legs.

Shi Ji rubs his hands together happily. "Your job today is to hoe the fields!"

Ye Mu lifts his eyelids. "Me?"

"Of course you!"

"Not doing it." Ye Mu lies back down without hesitation.

Shi Ji: ...?

This isn't how the story is supposed to go!

Refusing to give up or abandon anyone, Shi Ji sets about teaching the merman he bought for a whopping three hundred yuan.

"I'm Shi Ji, your master. Repeat after me!"

"Our slogan is: Hoe the fields honestly, and you'll get plenty of rewards!"

"One hoe a day keeps the doctor away!"

Shi Ji's mouth is dry from all the shouting, but the merman just sits there with his arms crossed, staring at him without a word.

Now and then, a glimmer of amusement even flickers in his eyes.

Shi Ji: ...

Why is my nose getting all red?

Before Shi Ji can get angry, he suddenly hears a voice.

[What's he babbling about? I want to kiss him.]

Shi Ji: ?

He looks up again. The merman is still sitting there with his chin resting lazily on his hand, saying nothing, but his eyes are fixed on Shi Ji's lips.

[He's looking at me.]

[Hoeing the fields? Sure, but the reward I want is more than just one thing...]

What... a perverted fish!

The hoe clatters from Shi Ji's hands and hits the ground.

Years later, the merman people finally find their long-lost king in a tiny, run-down house.

"Your Majesty, "

Before the ministers can wail and fall to their knees, their elegant, noble merman king picks up a hoe and clatters it onto the ground.

"Stop wailing. Go hoe the fields for your queen."

Their cries cut off abruptly. The group of merfolk stare in unison at the young man beside Ye Mu.

Shi Ji keeps a blank face and, right in front of the ministers, gives their king a hard kick.

One-sentence summary:

The pet fish he bought for a bargain fell in love with him at first sight. Where are the morals? Where's the reproductive barrier? ...Where's the marriage certificate?

Theme: Live life to the fullest